Not So Normal News

OKAY, I AM EXTREMELY TICKED OFF

2007-08-28T08:00:00.000-05:00

or the last few days I have deleting advertising from the Comments section from these butt cracks leaving their stupid messages.

I have a choices here..... continuing to delete them immediately or put a password. That will take care of that problem. I'll let y'all know which I decided.

How do you feel about passwords to leave a comment?

PRESENTING: THE SHROUD OF SHANE

2007-08-23T22:09:00.000-05:00

es, it's me! Me in the flesh and bones! I know you girls have wanted to see me stripped to the bare bones. Here I am!!!

Yesterday I went the Doctor's to have a bone density scan, God only knows why because I sure don't know why... I saw the picture of my on her monitor and I begged to have a copy. "I'm not supposed to...", she cooed. Then I glanced at her with my "sure ya can hon..." look...

"Well, ok", she smiled demurely. Damn, I still got it I thought... What girl wouldn't give me a xray of myself in the bare bones state that I was in...

LOL

SO YOU LIKE CHOPSTICKS?

2007-08-22T05:48:00.000-05:00

he next you go to a Chinese restaurant, you might want to consider this.... A Beijing factory recycled used chopsticks and sold up to 100,000 pairs a day without any form of disinfection, a newspaper said on Wednesday, the latest in a string of Chinese food and product safety scares.

Uh huh... Now in all honesty is obviously aimed at all chopstick makers in China... only some of them, actually, right now, pertaining to one chopstick maker.

Officials raided the factory and seized about half a million pairs of recycled disposable bamboo chopsticks and a packaging machine, the Beijing News said.

The owner, identified only by his surname Wu, said he had sold the recycled chopsticks for 0.04 yuan a pair and made an average of about 1,000 yuan ($130) a day.

Wu, who had no license to sell the goods, said he had sold 100,000 pairs a day when business was good.

On the lighter side.... In the latest in a series of tit-for-tat measures, China has accused the United States of exporting substandard soybean shipments to China and requested "effective measures" be taken. The U.S. shipping substandard soybean to China???? What is this world coming to... lol

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I DONE WHAT???

2007-08-20T02:37:00.000-05:00

othing ever happens to me normally. I swear I attract odd people and find myself in strange and goofy situations. Last Friday I told y'all that I had an appointment at the VA, with a new doctor. I guess my doctor was tired of me and my illness(es), shrug. Before the appointment I was to meet this doctor who was conducting a study on patients that have cancer and "normal" people like me.

Supposed they feed criteria into the computer and up popped my name. Just your normal, run of the mill, unassuming patients that host a host of maladies like me. I was special.

He told me I was to answer the questions on the questionnaire, afterwards I would undergo a physical in their offices... everything would be done within 2 hours.

I sat down with my questions and began my contribution to science... maybe even end up in the New England medical journal! The study was broken into parts. Part 1 was easy enough... name, address, age, blood type, etc. A piece of cake.

Part 2 was my medical background... operations, etc. No problemo....

Part 3... the first question was: When was the last time you had sex? Was it with your significant other? Alone? Ahem... I moved right along... Do you masturbate? How many times in the last 7 days have you masturbated? Do you consider yourself: Straight, Bi-sexual, gay?

How often do you think about sex during the day? Please circle one was from 1 time to over 20 times a day. Do you have sexual dreams?

Do you get erections more at night or during the day? Are you erections less than desirable? Medium? Full?

Okee Dokee... I am all for science and all, but..... I thought it was an application to star in a X-Rated movie or sometime. I fully expected to be photographed naked and my picture attached to the papers.

Question.... This was to help and compare with patients that have cancer.... Ok, I am a little slow these days BUT why would people that have cancer be wondering about their sex lives. Don't the cancer patients have more on their minds rather to think about sex? and specifically MY sex life?

Why God, why... why is it aways me that get picks or get involved in things like this? Do y'all sit around in heaven and think up these situations and laugh and say: "Let's give this to Denny Shane to torture him."

CONGRATS MR. SHANE, YOU ARE A GUINEA PIG

2007-08-17T03:21:00.000-05:00

he VA hospital has selected me, out of thousands of vets, to see a test subject!!! That's right people... eat your hearts out. I am scheduled for my 3 month check-up at the hospital tomorrow... I think my normal doctor was a little upset when I wrote him a letter telling how he doesn't pay attention to me when I complain... oh, I also sent a copy of the head of the VA Hospital also...

The next knew I was transferred to a new doctor and my first appointment is tomorrow morning. Well, I never....

Well he doesn't know I am the head of the "My Anything But A Normal Life" world-conglomerate... Anyway, today I get a phone call from a doctor that is conducting a study and my name was picked!!! WOW! A winner Finally!

He told me that my name was picked as a person who has had: 1 heart attack, 6 strokes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, clinical depression and problems with memory at my age. Imagine that, of all the veterans that had all of those exact conditions, they picked me. LOL

I felt I won a car or the lottery. I had questions of course... Like does this study pay any money? "No" Well, that pretty wrapped of my questions. Then he tells me that they wanted to use me as a comparison person with people that have terminal cancer.

Err, huh? WHAT??????

I swear I never picked for normal things.

P.S. I let ya know on Monday. lol

"EXCUSE ME SIR, YOU KNOW YOU WERE SPEEDING?"

2007-08-16T04:56:00.000-05:00

uh Officer? Me? Speeding? There I was driving along, minding my own business... Checking the rear view mirror as I always do.... What? why is the cop flashing his lights behind me? Is he waving to me? Oh crap!!

"Good morning sir, how are you doing?" I was doing great until 2 minutes ago. "Do how fast you were going?" Well, no but I am sure you're gonna tell me. "46 in a 35 zone." My thought was "huh uh, is there a problem?"

He tells me to sit in the car and he would be right back and he walked back to the patrol car. That's when I realized... my car registration expired... in MAY... Bad enough?... I forgot to get the car inspected also.... oh geez....

Here he comes, ticket book in hand... he's writing as he walks... he looks a lot bigger now... "Sir, I'm giving you a blah blah blah."

He hands me my present and my license back and tells me to have an nice day. Yeah, right.... Now I've got a $185 ticket... $185!!!!

Glad he didn't ask for the my insurance card..... it ran out last month! I just hate when your brain just stops working.

When was the last time you were stopped?

SOME PEOPLE ARE REALLY STUPID

2007-08-14T05:24:00.000-05:00

his story just had me shaking my head... A woman was arrested after she called police to help "get her money back" after she was unhappy with the crack cocaine she purchased.

Juanita Marie Jones, 53, called Rochelle Police late Thursday night after she purchased what she thought was a $20 piece of crack cocaine, according to police reports.

She told officers she broke the rock into three pieces and smoked one, only to discover the drugs were "fake."

She took Officer Joel Quinn and Deputy John Shedd of the Wilcox County Sheriff's Office into her kitchen and showed them the drugs, police said.

She was promptly arrested on charges of possession of cocaine.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.... lol

"BUT HEY, WE HAVE A CONTRACT"

2007-08-13T03:31:00.000-05:00

evin L. Erwin made his girlfriend sign a contract that said "I freely give myself to Kevin L. Erwin as a personal slave and life mate ... . I agree to make myself sexually available to Kevin at all times, 24/7."

The contract also calls for the woman to get a divorce and marry Erwin as soon as possible. It bars her from ever again participating in Internet relationships or chat rooms. Here is another bizarre part of the contract. It explicitly states that the signee agrees to sexual intimacy "in whatever form Kevin deems fit."
The document also read that any breach of the purported agreement would cost the woman $100,000.

"I agree to pay Kevin $100,000 alienation of affection should I ever attempt to break this contract. This payment may not be included in any bankruptcy in the future. Payments will be made in 10, $10,000 annual installments."

The couple met through the Internet..... "uh huh.... lol" chuckled Denny Shane, editor of the Not So Normal News.

The one-page document also requires the woman to wear a collar and agree to any tattoos, piercing or branding as directed. She also is to submit to punishment from a whip, riding crop, electrical stimulation and cat-o'-nine-tails, a whip made of knotted cords.

She went to police after he tied her up for eight hours, branded her with the letter K, bit her several times, and shocked her genitals. (Editor Note: Why after 8 hours? Did she enjoy the previous 7 hours?) The woman had burns, bruises, rope abrasions and bite marks throughout her body when she went to Jackson Township police June 11. She told officers Erwin tortured her in the upstairs bedroom of the apartment the pair shared on Malibu Avenue NW.

Hey, hey, hey, I thought we had a contract here?! When he was arrested, Erwin told police it was a mistake and that he could clear up any confusion with the contract.

So a question comes to mind.... what will YOU do for love? I know some of the readers out there enjoy this and I expect some good comments! Or I'll get my TENZ unit out to make you submit!

WHEN A THANK YOU GOES BAD...

2007-08-10T03:34:00.000-05:00

hen Leroy Greer sent roses to the love of his life, he never those 1-800-Flowers would lead him into divorce court. Seem that 1-800-Flowers send a thank you note to Greer at home to thank you using them to send the flowers.

What's the hitch? Greer sent the flowers to his mistress and not his wife. It seems that after Leroy Greer's wife filed for divorce in January 2006, he began seeing another woman and sent his new girlfriend a dozen long-stemmed roses. But a few months after the flowers were sent, Greer reconciled with his wife, and she moved back in to his Missouri City, Texas home, according to Greer's lawyer, Kennitra Foote.

That was, until his wife received a thank-you note from 1-800-Flowers.

Confused about the purchase, Bernice Greer called the company, and they faxed her the receipt. "Just wanted to say that I love you and you mean the world to me!" read the greeting from Greer to his girlfriend, whose name and address were included in the receipt for more than $100 in roses.

Ummmm, the divorce is back on.... lol

A BLOGGER'S UNION ???

2007-08-09T05:06:00.000-05:00

re you tired of thinking for items to write about? Want medical coverage? How about 2 15 minute breaks? There are bloggers aka normal people, like me and you... are sitting around tables thinking this crap up. Are bloggers normal people like me and you?

Some argue for a free-standing association for activist bloggers while others suggest a guild open to any blogger — from knitting fans to video gamers — that could be created within established labor groups.

"The reason I like blogging is that it's very anarchistic. I can do whatever I want whenever I want, and oh my God, you're not going to tell me what to do," said Curt Hopkins, the founder of the Committee to Protect Bloggers.

With pages focused on everything from bird watching to celebrity footwear, more than 120,000 blogs are created every day and more than 58,000 new posts are made each hour, according to data from Technorati, which tracks more than 94 million blogs worldwide.

Actually, the more I think about it, and as one blogger recently put it: "Blogging is very intense — physically, mentally," she said. "You're constantly scanning for news. You're constantly trying to come up with information that you think will mobilize your readers. In the meantime, you're sitting at a computer and your ass is getting wider and your arm and neck and shoulder are wearing out because you're constantly using a mouse." I never thought about ass-widening as a medical condioner or as a bloger infirmity... I know one female blogger that writes her own excellent blog and visit here always comoplaining about her ass getting wider who would put in a claim. (and no it isn't honey, more to grab onto) lol

Amazing huh? And we are part of the mess. So.... yea or nay? Or is it a way to for us to shell out more money every month as "dues". I think the Not So Normal News will began unionless... who would I strike against? Myself?

I AM BACK!!!

2007-08-08T01:00:00.000-05:00

hank you... thank you... thank you... for all of your emails, letters, postcards and especially to the fellow blogger who me her bra.... as a hurry get here and blog quickly! I was gonna hold out another week to see what I would get in the mail! Woo Hoo!

I decided to take a little of time off to get my thoughts together, etc. Sometimes I simply run of out steam... know what I mean?

I just wanted to know that tomorrow I'll be at the keyboard tapping out my little blog once again!

I missed y'all!

SORRY GANG

2007-08-03T05:17:00.000-05:00

eally, I'm sorry for the lack of postings this week. I'll start all over on Monday. Please come back?

Just not feeling good this week.

IS IT JUST ME?

2007-08-01T04:58:00.000-05:00

oes anyone out there drink tomato juice with breakfast? I have meaning to write about this for awhile. Yes folks, my life has sunk this low when I resort to writing about tomato juice.

I enjoy a nice glass of chilled tomato juice at breakfast and I sprinkle black pepper on the top. The problem I noticed is that years ago the pepper usually stayed with the juice until the end. Nowadays, I don't know why but the pepper is gone long before the juice is done.

I think they are making the juice thinner now. Which brings up a whole topic of subjects.... alone with tomato juice and pepper... have you've noticed anything that doesn't act like it use to?

Another thing I noticed is tat pancake syrup isn't as thick as it once was... along with catsup.

PARIS AND NICOLE IN THE NEWS

2007-07-31T04:08:00.000-05:00

o, no,I'm not gonna do it... No, no, I refuse... I am not gonna waste an another inch of space on these two... they'll do anything to get publicised by the Not So Normal News... Haven't I enough to make them what they are?

Hilton is now entering her sixth week as a free woman, after serving 23 days behind bars for violating probation on an alcohol-related reckless driving charge. The heiress has rebranded herself as a changed woman, volunteering at children's hospitals and making as many appearances at charitable functions as at the Hollywood clubs—which, it must be said, she has not completely forsaken.

Richie, meanwhile, is smack in the middle of her own legal nightmare, having pleaded guilty last Friday to driving under the influence of drugs following a wrong-way trip on a Los Angeles freeway last December. She was sentenced to 96 hours in jail, three years' probation, alcohol-education classes and fines.

Perhaps the experience inspired Hilton, who just confirmed she has begun rehearsals for Repo! The Genetic Opera, a musical thriller that begins filming next month in Toronto.

Oh God... please, please don't tell me Paris is gonna do opera???

THE 2007 "STELLA AWARDS" ARE ANNOUNCED!!

2007-07-30T01:00:00.000-05:00

ime once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards."

The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's in New Mexico. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States.

Here are this year's winners:

7th Place

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000. By a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

6th Place

19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

5th Place

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr.Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed, to the tune of $500,000. In my opinion this is so outrageous that it should have been 2nd Place!

4th Place

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500. And medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500. After she slipped on a soft drink and broke her. After she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tail bone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd Place

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge . She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses

1st Place

This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the Driver's seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this.

The jury awarded her $1,750,000. Plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.

I seriously have to seriously come up with something. Got anything?

WHAT YA THINK? A BRUCE WILLIS LOOK-A-LIKE?

2007-07-27T03:00:00.001-05:00

ven just a little bit? In case you have not noticed... I gave myself a light trim yesterday. I started out to do just that... clip here, clip little there... a little uneven? no problem... clip clip... clip clip... the more I trimmed the worse it got.

I just need to break down and try to not save money by going to the barber. Last summer I did the same darn thing and ended up with the same results. A barber I'm not.

OK, yes or no? Should I go for the new, bold look? Be honest! Can't be worse than the looks and under the breath comments at the grocery store. Heathens. lol

N.B. Yes, the sunglasses are to protect my eyes from the glare of the 40 watt bulb bouncing off my head.

AFTER 18 YEARS AND 400 EPISODES...

2007-07-26T01:11:00.000-05:00

omer and family is set to splash across the big screen... this very Friday! All of the residents of Springfield, that we have come to love and hate, will be on hand to take part in the long-awaited, much anticipated screen flick of The Simpsons Movie.

I will actually go see it maybe after the crowds die down a bit. Yes, I've watched the show for... well... 18 years, including re-runs. You've got to hand it to the production staff for not allowing the show to recycle plots and story lines as many longtime shows have done in the past.

Some people may think I am a nitwit for spending money for this movie, but after this year's news, big and small, I am ready to be entertained, amused and even laugh out loud maybe...

This is actually openly talked about the Simpsons... I am a closet Simpoholic... a secret my family doesn't even know about. So is my deep-rooted secret, my psychiatrist doesn't even know about it... well up until now as she faithfully reads the Not No Normal News, not because it's news-worthily but because she's finds what is really beneath my tough exterior.

Ok... a show of hands... going or not going? Can't Wait or wouldn't be caught dead seeing this movie?

SO MUCH TALK IN HOLLYWOOD

2007-07-25T05:10:00.000-05:00

eez, between Lindsay Lohan, Drew Carey, the NBA ref getting death threats... where does it end? But I have found one item that has peaked my interest... for now anyway...

Seems the Matt Damon's Clean My Ride, Flex My Fuel has begun to attact more and more names to the project. Ben Affleck and wife Jennifer Gerner, Sarah Silverman, Jason Biggs and Joshua Jackson have joined...

The first video in the six-part series will be available for viewing on youtube.com and on the Clean My Ride Website starting Tuesday, with new installments to follow tomorrow and Thursday. Visitors to the site can also print out a form letter to send to Washington encouraging lawmakers to adopt a 35 mile-per-gallon fuel economy standard by 2020—a target Detroit automakers have called unachievable.

As Al Gore has helped prove, however, quite a few Hollywood types disagree with the Motown bigwigs.

"Congress bows to fear," says Affleck, "I bring the fear. Does big oil sleep around? Got bad credit? I'll find the dirt. And I will make big oil regret the day it ever uttered the words 'price gouging.'"

The Hollywoodland star's missus, Jennifer Garner, gets to wear regular clothes, however, as does Sarah Silverman, who disses her mother for driving a gas guzzler in her signature snide yet passive-aggressive way.

I hope the heck they actually can do something... or maybe begin to get into the Congress' heads.... to get out of the pockets of big oil.

AND COME ON DOWN...

2007-07-24T02:50:00.000-05:00

es you have sitting on the edge of your lawn or beach chair all summer long awaiting the news... WAIT NO LONGER!

Come on down: nope, not Rosie - nope, not George Hamilton, - nope, not of the names you have heard before... Come on down... Mr. Drew Carey!

Carey announced his new job during a taping for Monday's Late Show with David Letterman on CBS. Per Carey, negotiations wrapped up very, very shortly before he was to walk out on Letterman's stage.

"During your Harry Potter bit—honestly, it was like 15 minutes ago—they called me," Carey told Letterman. "It's a done deal. I'm the new host of The Price Is Right."

These shoes are the biggest in Hollywood to fill... Bob Barker is a legend of the game shows.

My prediction for The Price is Right? The Host is Wrong!

CANCER TOOK IT ALL......

2007-07-23T02:57:00.000-05:00

xcept her spirit. And her eye makeup, according to the article... Actually, that's all the words I need to even describe this person. You all know who I am talking about, right?

Well, just in case you don't know who I am writing about... Tammy Faye died the other day.

On Thursday, CNN's Larry King Live aired a pretaped interview with an emaciated, 65-pound Messner, who complained of constant pain and an inability to keep down food. She was unrecognizable but for the darkly made up eyes that were her calling card and the punchline for countless stand-up routines. And yet, raspy voice or no, the frail woman fielding questions from King still sounded like vintage Tammy Faye.

She died the following day. I never actually followed her shows, etc... just always read about her...

"My heart aches for my two children, Jamie Charles and Tammy Sue, who loved their mother dearly," Jim Bakker said in a statement on his Website. "They both told me their mom was so full of life it is hard to believe she is gone."

On Larry King, Messner didn't flinch from the most stark of questions. She said she wanted to be cremated ("I don't want bugs to eat me"), that she felt "a little bit" scared and that she knew exactly where her next stop was.

See ya on the other side Tammy!

WHOA! RAINING, THUNDERING, LIGHTENING.. TOO SEVERE TO WRITE WITH COMPUTER

2007-07-20T05:31:00.000-05:00

I'M SORRY.... ANOTHER COP OUT POSTING

2007-07-19T05:05:00.000-05:00

very once in a while you know the feeling... just tapped out for ideas on the blog material. This past week has happened to me. I know, I know, some of you y'all saying 'this week'? LOL... I sure has heck hope I snack out of this blah feeling by the weekend. Anyway, just to have something for the emptyness of space I am putting a joke... to fill space so y'al get your money's worth! ;)

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men: he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women: she loved to browse.

One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton:

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares - get on it right away."

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15 : Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by usi ng different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least,
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

I AM AVAILABLE

2007-07-18T04:21:00.000-05:00

ince the summertime of picnicking, BBQ's, etc upon us... and you are thinking about how to entertain your friends.... you may consider the article below.

If you're looking to book Al Gore for a 75-minute "Environmental Multimedia Lecture," the former vice president will cost you $100,000, plus travel, hotel, security, and per diem expenses. Gore's standard speaker's contract, also stipulates that the Democrat's ground transportation be "a sedan, NOT an SUV." Additionally, Gore requests that speech sponsors make every effort to use a hybrid vehicle for his transport.

The Gore contract, which is more restrained than the one used by Rudolph Giuliani, stipulates that no press be permitted at the event and that the Democrat receive approval over the distribution of photographs from the appearance.

Don't like Al Gore? No problem... call upon me... that's right I am available to give an equally rousing speech or talk, assuming I get enough beer beer provided at the event. I can talk abut anything! You give me the topic you want me to speech about... and bingo... you got yourself a speech!

I am so more reasonable than Gore. Air to be included, cab from airport to your house, sleeping arrangements at your house, with breakfast, lunch and dinner to be included. I just thought... I'd need some spending money while I am official duty in order to research things related to the speech topic!

Use my email to book me. Hurry! I foresee my calendar filling quickly!

THE NEXT TIME YOU WHINED ABOUT NOT PARKING

2007-07-16T05:20:00.000-05:00

ease be happy you don't live in New York City. If I lived and worked in NYC, I would move. Really.... Read below and well, you'll know what to say...

For $225,000 you can buy a Maserati Victory, a purebred Arabian racing horse and in many parts of the country, a nice home.

In Orlando, Fla., you could get "a beautiful two- or three-bedroom house in a gated community with a two-car garage and a front yard," said Bonnie Lindenbaum, a real estate broker.

But in New York City $225,000 will get you an 18' by 9' parking space in the basement of a new condo building going up in the Chelsea neighborhood.

"Is there a couch and a kitchen and a stove down there too?" joked one Manhattan resident.

Parking Space Is Money in the Bank
Over the past 50 years the number of cars in the United States has more than tripled, but construction of parking garages hasn't kept pace.

And in space-starved Manhattan, a parking space is considered prime real estate. There's actually a waiting list for the $225,000 spot.

Paul Vinci is an insurance salesman who bought bought his parking space for $90,000 two years ago.

People thought he was nuts, until he was offered $150,000 for it three months later. He considered selling the space, but now he's glad he didn't

"So to hear today, that it's gone up another $100,000, I'm very happy," Vinci said.

Some people who don't even own cars are buying parking spaces in New York as an investment and renting them out.

But the parking madness isn't just a New York thing. In Boston, parking spaces can go for as much as $175,000, and in Chicago, people pay up to $75,000.

Did your mouth drop open?

IN HONOR OF THE 100,000 VISITOR...

2007-07-12T06:40:00.000-05:00

ow can I gently say why I don't have a blog entry this morning? Actually I have a few reasons....

1. It poured so really bad this morning I couldn't turn on the computer.

2. As a result of the rain downpour my roof leaked and dripped into my computer.

3. I was all up night drying the machine off.

4. Then the electrical went off.

5. All of the above.

It any of them sound OK? Fairly reasonable? If you were a school teacher, would you buy any of this?

Actually, don't make any difference... the truth is I am lazy and didn't write one. I swear that is the truth.

AND THE 100,000th BLOGGER WAS....

2007-07-11T03:07:00.000-05:00

ell, I came on the blog and the visitor total was 100,025. So I went into the stats counted back 25 visitors and the winner was... Cheeky of the witty and enjoyable Snow Trapped Southern Girl blog.

If you have not visited Cheeky, please go and congratulate her! I was considering awarding her an all expense paid vacation to Minnesota but it wasn't in my budget.

Anyway, there is nothing in my budget (Sorry hon!)... therefore Cheeky... no prize for you... maybe by the time I hit 200,000... we'll see.

Okay, it's 2:07 AM and it's time for me to do something constuctive. Like, thuming, thumping, thumping my head against my desk. :)

THUMP, THUMP, THUMP

2007-07-10T01:37:00.001-05:00

an you guess what that sound is? Listen... thump, thump, thump... C'mon, play along... thump, thump, thump. You give? I'm not gonna tell ya.

Well, today is the big day... when my little blog hits 100,000.

I thought about going out with a big finish... like TV shows that end their runs on a high note. Look what a big end did for Sex and the City... and they making a movie for the big screen. My big wish is for the movie... will Carrie appear nude like her co-stars? As devotees of the show know... she was the only one in the show that did not appear nude or even half-nude. What a let-down... Oh come on girls, even y'all wanted to see her undressed.

As far as a celebration goes today... shrug... maybe I'll take an extra dose of depression pill... lol Wheeeeee.

Or to hell with the diabetes and have one of those cheese-cherry cakes I have been dribbling about every time I go to the supermarket. Why it is everything I want is bad for me? What a sucky celebration this is gonna be!

Back to the original question. It is 12:30AM in the morning... what do think is the thump, thump, thump is?

AGAIN MY DAYS AND NIGHTS ARE MIXED UP

2007-07-09T01:59:00.000-05:00

nce again my days and nights are all mixed up. I woke up and looked out the window... so dark, ready to storm and downpour at any moment. As I am standing in front of my bathroom mirror I think to myself that I better get to the store before I get stuck and can't get out.

First to Walgreens. There was a lot of people in there for this time of the morning... shrug. In the same shoping center is the supermarket. I better stop in and get dish washing detergent, lunch meant, etc. I noticed there was only cashier on duty. That's odd for this time of the day... usually there are a few of them getting ready to take of the early morning shoppers heading to work.

I grab my things, check out and figure I better hurry home before the clouds and lightening roll in and the deluge start. Once back at my apartment I can smell BBQ and spot where it was coming from and a few girls sitting sitting around a table. I thought that odd they were BBQ'ong that this time of the morning. Maybe they were having a party and hurrying to get the food cooked.

Safety back in my apartment I start to put the food away. In the meanwhile I start my coffee brewing. I love smelling freshly brewed coffee in the morning. Coffee done, food is put away... I pour the coffee into the cup and head into the den to sit down at the computer, to start my day. I take a sip of the coffee.... mmmmm so good. My eye glances down at the time in the corner of the computer...

10:30 PM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What????? My computer must be wrong. Maybe the battery has finally slowed down. I looked at my watched... 10:30 PM... no, no, no I jumped up and looked at the clock in the livingroom. 10:31 PM. Oh My God!!!!!!

I hate having my days and nights getting mixed up!

IT STARTED WITH ONE VISITOR

2007-07-06T03:51:00.000-05:00

he year was ????... I forgot now... strokes have a funny have of erasing some memories... oh well... it was in the 2000's anyway. 99638 visitors have read the Not So Normal News. Since that very first posting about my Christmas lights, the News has enjoyed visitors from every continent in the world.

Damn. I honestly don't know how the numbers have gotten so big.

I actually remember getting 100 comments every day. It was getting out of hand and I couldn't keep up every day, with commenting and then visiting them and commenting on their blogs as well. I was writing and commenting in my head in my dreams. LOL

In a way, I'm happy where the commentors are right now. It's hard to get around to the blogs with the strokes. In if I don't always to them, you're forgive me. But I still enjoy your visits and comments just the same.

Will, here's to the next 100,000 (which it should turn 100,000 sometime early next week).

Thank you, each and one of you!!

Denny

ME... ME... LITTLE DENNY SHANE FROM FISHTOWN IS A WHO'S WHO IN AMERICA!

2007-07-05T06:33:00.000-05:00

es indeedy fellow Bloggers, I finally hit the big-time... no, wait a minute... the BIG TIME. I have been selected by the following company to be placed in the upcoming issue of their book! Yes, me... little Denny from Fishtown! I can't wait to call all of my family back home!

Now, before you get all a goo-goo about knowing a life-size big whig... the letter says it is a free inclusion. That is true... they have left out the part that if I would like my very own printed book with real leather bookcovers and maybe gold-leaf page ends... well, who wouldn't come up with about $350.00 to get this honor in a book that no one will ever read?

Dear Denny,

You were recently appointed as a biographical candidate to represent your industry in the Madison Who's Who Among Executives and Professionals, and for inclusion into the upcoming 2007-2008 Honors Section of the registry.

We are pleased to inform you that on May 17th, your candidacy was approved. Your confirmation for inclusion will be effective within five business days, pending our receipt of the enclosed application.

The Office of the Managing Director appoints individuals based on a candidate's current position, and usually with information obtained from researched executive and professional listings. The director thinks you may make an interesting biographical subject, as individual achievement is what Madison Who's Who is all about. Upon final confirmation you will be listed among thousands of accomplished individuals in the Madison Who's Who Registry. There is no cost to be included.

We do require additional information to complete the selection process and kindly ask that you access this form on our website at:

Click here to register

Or you can manually enter this address into your web browser:

http://www.madisonwhoswho.com/basiclisting

To ensure your biographical data is received in time, please complete the online form above as soon as possible. Our editorial deadline is quickly approaching.

Sincerely,

Matthew Johnson
Managing Editor

Ok... I am now taking donations to put me in the book! Don't all crowd in at once! How much should I put to you down for? LOL

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!

2007-07-03T06:00:00.000-05:00

e're here once again... another 4th of July is upon us.

Years ago the 4th of July meant us celebrating our independence from Great Britain... now the Brits are our friends... our best friends throughout the entire world.

And one can take the option that Great Britain is our ONE friend in the world... who does not ask anything from us, maybe friendship.

I sit back and wonder what happened to us around the world? I mean, the whole world was with us on 9/11. What happened since then? Far be it from me to point fingers, for many reasons.

Now we celebrate the 4th of July, not as our independence, but a day of swimming, picnicking, family get-togethers, patriotic decorations, sparklers... I would love to see our country go back to era when we extend our hand to the needy of the world... only because they need help.

Not because they just want a free handout, and we need a area of ground to put our missiles... This world is getting smaller and smaller by day....

We need to find, honestly, a way to live in together in harmony. Shrug....

But anyway, have a safe and a Happy 4th of July!

THIS IS STROKE LAUGH WEEKEND!

2007-06-30T01:24:00.000-05:00

STROKE LAUGH

THE ANSWERS

2007-06-29T02:00:00.000-05:00

ell juding from the comment section only some of the people ventured some answers. As promised here are the answers to which are the real homes and the fake homes.

FALSE HOUSES

#1.. Called the "Bond Mansion"

#2.. Alfrodite's Eye

#4.. You Should See the Front

#7.. Ice House

#9.. Kjerak Tower

TRUE HOUSES

#3.. the famous "house between the rocks" located in France.

#5.. actually an old "treehouse" in Naha, Japan.

#6.. is a very old "mill" in Venron, France from the 16th century

#8.. is the Dal-al-Har in Yemen.

#10. Thomas Point Shoal Lighthouse, 19th century lighthouse in Chesapeake Bay.

#11. 20th century lighthouse of Westerhever on the Elderstedst Peninula in Germany.

So how did you do? Probably just about as good I did... lol

TRUE OR FAKES?

2007-06-28T05:11:00.000-05:00

ow good are you? Down below are photos of 11 exceptional homes. Can you pick out the actually real homes?

In tomorrows blog I will reveal which are the real real homes and the fake homes.

ACCORDING TO BLOGGER UNION RULES...

2007-06-27T05:31:00.000-05:00

n accordance to union rules section Chapter III, paragraph A, sub-catergory XXXIIC: Blogger may wake up later than the normal wake-up hour, that they may take they day off with no excuses.

I did... I am... I have none... So there!

CACA DO DO FOR BRAINS

2007-06-26T02:00:00.000-05:00

es, that's what I think sometimes. Last night I was watching reruns of CSI. Inside an insane asylum a patient is murdered. The murderer is caught as usally. The murderer is talking to the victim as he, the victim, is working with a potter wheel while making a clay urn. As the urn is whirl around the wheel and the man is handling the urn as it turns, the voice is also etched into the clay... just like a old plastic record was made years ago.

The CSI team take the urn, turn their computer on and picked out the voices on the clay. At the end of the show Gil Grisson made reference to the "Lazarus Bowl", whereby a woman in Biblical times was spinning a clay bowl on a pottery wheel and it was found there was voices on this urn... the language was an ancient Arabic. The make a long story shorter, it was discovered it was the voice of Jesus speaking the words to raise Lazarus from the death.

This story had a vague ring to it... I started looked through out the Internet for the Bible story. I hadn't found it. The even went to the Vatican library... surely they have this story. Nada...

I kept coming with story's from The X Files called Hollywood AD:

Scully relates to Mulder the story of the Lazarus bowl, a clay bowl made at the time Christ raised Lazarus from the dead, that recorded his words in the clay and has the power to raise the dead. Scully gives the bowl to resident techie Chuck Burks, who discovers an Aramaic voice, that appears to be one man commanding another to rise from the dead.

I could sworn I heard or read that they found this urn and and and.... oh well...

Have you ever had a situation you swore that something was true... only to come to find out it was all in your mind?

P.S. Yes, it really is 1 AM... ugh!

JUST YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND ENGLISH...

2007-06-25T03:49:00.000-05:00

ow I have installed the Not So Normal News in 10 different languages!! In case you've missed them, the flags noting the languages are up above where I am writing. You can run your cursor on the flag it it will tell you what country it is there for you. I am debating putting the United States as an foreign language since I don't what we speak, officially, anymore.

Also, there are just 182 days left until Christmas! That's right... 182. In an effort to help you, I have installed the "Denny's Mall and Emporium" on the left side in the Index. Now I did my part by installing it... now it's your part... that part being whereby you go to it and maybe buy something! If you're going to buy anything on the Internet... why not buy from "Denny's Mall and Emporium"? We both win here! You buy the item you want and I make a small profit so I can buy a can of tuna fish for dinner next week!

The is another reason I need your help. I really want to you and look it over and tell me if I am missing something... Meaning items or whatever I don't have in there. Or could I organize it better?

DON'T FORGET THAT IT'S STROKE DAY

2007-06-23T02:38:00.000-05:00

ince this is the weekend I take off from writing the "First Page" and head on over to Stroke Laugh in the next chapter of my 6 stroke adventure.

HERE I GO AGAIN...

2007-06-22T01:49:00.000-05:00

he time is now, exactly at 12:21 AM... and you know where your Denny Shane is? Yes, he's sitting right in front of his computer and typing this blog article. Yes, wide awake... not in bed like normal people...

This is what 3 nights in a row now? I even had nice clean sheets and pillow cases on the bed... About 10ish I decided I was going to hop right into bed after my shower. Which I did... MmmMMmmMmmMmm... the sheets and pillow case smelled soooo fresh. and then I turned one way, then the other way and back again. I fluffed out the blanket... it felt so comfortable and warm.... and I layed awake thinking about the sheets, pillow and blanket.... then about the blanket, pillow case and the sheets. Then the refrigerator

I did accidentally leave the refrigerator door open? That's stupid since I KNOW I closed it. Okay, I may as well check it while I am going to the bathroom... Damn it! Why do I fall for this crap. I know the fridge door is closed... but I look anyway. Yep, shut and closed securely.

Ya know... I can sit here typing all night/morning since I am not going to bed anytime soon.

Well, I'll see y'all in the morning when you get here... I might as go put a pot of coffee... gonna be a looonnnngggg night.

PLEASE HELP ME BEFORE I GO CRAZY!

2007-06-21T01:22:00.000-05:00

ou've seen this commercial on TV... Right? The celebrities are talking about the The Members Project from American Express. Ellen DeGeneres is in the middle and Marty Scorsese, playing the Director of the commercial.

PLEASE name the other people in the commercial!!! I've loaded all kinds of info into search engines and keep coming with the commercial but none of them name the actors. I've even watched it on UTube... nada. I even went to the Amex web site... they have the commercial, but no names.

C'mon, you know the answer...

ANSWERS!

Peanut Queen = Andre Agassa, Cheryl Crowe, Rehdeaded Guy Famous Skateboard?
Me: Peanut Queen was right... it is Shaun White (red head guy)

I found it!!
The black haired beauty is Alicia Keyes. And the casual guy playing 'Tim' is David Alan Basche who played in "United #93."

HOW TIMES HAVE YOU WISHED YOU COULD...

2007-06-20T01:01:00.000-05:00

scape to a deserted island somewhere? I was just sitting here looking over the headlines and stories from where I would pick a story to write about for the blog.

After reading for about a half hour, I was so depressed I should have taken an another anti-depression pill. What this world doing to itself? They don't ever sit down and look at the bigger picture?

I watched CNN and watched Hamas Islamist take over Gaza... I watched the destruction being done by themselves. The guy standing on a desk in Gaza city hall, raising his gun and shouting something. Can someone, anybody at all... please tell me what Hamas will bring to that region of the world?

Personally, I think the whole Iraq situation is a lost situation. How many more lives on both sides do we have bury before we pull out? We're not winning... shrug.

Then on the other side of the globe we have North Korea... big deal they are shutting down their reacter... there is anybody out there who doesn't think that the first time they don't get what they want the reacter gets turned on...

As far as Iran... we should have blown the place up when we had the chance.

And I believe we have a deal with bin Laden... you stay hidden and we won't capture you and execute you like Sadam. I don't for a minute think we can't find this guy.

And let's see... is there anything that pisses me off around the world?

Maybe I should not eat hot syrup banana splits before going to bed...

TODAY IS MONDAY, 18 JUNE 2007

2007-06-18T01:45:00.001-05:00

es indeee it is... and all day it is... and do have anything to say? Because I have nothing to say... Oh, did I mentioned it was also 2:07 AM? But then again, it's not the time you're reading this article.... unless you are reading it over my shoulder as I type it.

You're still reading? I just would have given up a few sentences ago. By any chance you got anything you would want me to talk about? Go ahead and put it in the Comments and if I have nothing to talk about tomorrow... maybe I'll pick your subject to write about.

It's 2:17AM and I'll going to bed. Buona Sierra!

Guess how much is here? This little pile was picked up in Mexico during a drug bust.

Did you guess $207 million bucks?

You Are From Neptune

You are dreamy and mystical, with a natural psychic ability.
You love music, poetry, dance, and (most of all) the open sea.
Your soul is filled with possibilities, and your heart overflows with compassion.
You can be in a room full of friendly people and feel all alone.
If you don't get carried away with one idea, your spiritual nature will see you through anything.

What Planet Are You From?

WOW! 6,585,987th PLACE

2007-06-15T04:14:00.000-05:00

veryone... I've made it to 6,585,987th place in the world out of all the bloggers in the world.... all 62,660,000 of them!

I can remember when my blog was just a twinkle in my eye, okay, maybe just a piece of "sleeper" in the corner of my eye...

With the old blogger gone I can't go back and look at how many articles but I think it's been about 1,000 articles, give or take a few. The Not So Normal News now reaches every continent in the world! And actually all of those countries are listed at the bannerhead.

The thanks really belongs to YOU.... the readers who have been here, through thick and thin, the fellow bloggers who come every day and plow my ending diatribes... put up with me everyday... all of the 97,189 people that logged on here as of 4:46AM this morning.

I know this might seem a bit over the top... what the hay... it's Friday and I have nothing else write about... so why not? LOL You know I am going to do? In celebration, I am taking the day off! Yes, I am not writing a blog article today!

I'm sorry, I know you come here looking for my morning news... but wait... know what just dawned on me... the Soprano's only made about 187 episodes... big deal! I've down about 1,000 articles, give or take....

Please don't forget to this weekend to come back and go to Stroke Laugh. Ok, ok... the article is already posted you so go read it now. But if you read it today then you won't have anything to read tomorrow!

WOMAN DIES WAITING FROM HELP IN ER

2007-06-14T05:54:00.000-05:00

amily members say hospital workers ignored their pleas for help, so they called 911 from the hospital frantically seeking help. A woman is lying on the floor of a Los Angeles County hospital emergency room. She is throwing up blood.

A half an hour later, Edith Rodriquez, 43, a mother of three, was dead, leaving the family reeling. The county supervisor is outraged, and it's all been caught on tape.

Rodriguez had been to the emergency room on three separate occasions. Each time she was released after being given prescriptions for pain.

This time, she lay on the floor of the emergency room for 45 minutes. A security video shows staffers and other patients standing by as a janitor cleaned the floor around her.

This is not the first time I have heard of that happening in hospitals in this country. What the heck is happening in this country...

What kind of medical personnel who we have working in hospitals?

AND, NOW AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE

2007-06-13T03:50:00.001-05:00

s you have noticed I have changed some stuff around on the blog. Added a few things to hold some interest, deleted a few things I got tired of seeing and just changed odds and ends.

Do me a favor? Over on the right column, where I have the Drop List of blogs, please look to see if I have your blog. I went through the list and erased blogs that were either out of date, or out of commission... whatever. There is also the possibility I may accidentally erased you.

As of guessed... I don't have crap to talk about this morning. I had my speaking session with the speech therapist yesterday. She comes two times a week. I think I have come a long way since the last stroke. My sentences are 90% understandle now.

Know what? I am falling asleep at this desk, lol... it's 4:23 AM and I am going back to bed. Sorry for the no brainer blog article this morning. Paris hasn't even done anything interesting to blog about... I can't wait for the stealth shower pictures to hit the internet... lol

I HAVE FOUND GOD .....AGAIN

2007-06-12T04:22:00.000-05:00

es children... Last night I once I have found God again, and even called out to Him. While walking into my office, once again I stubbed my toe... my little toe... smashing it into the desk. I called out loud, "God damn it!" And I even went further, and I begged God to smite the desk.

And... don't laugh... if Paris told Babs Walters that she found God after spending 2 days in "prison", even I found Him again after stubbing my toe on the desk... again, and again, again, and yes... again... at least once a week stubbing my toe on this stupid desk.

Normally a prisoner discovers God after spending years in jail... death row inmates finally find religion someplace while walking that final 100 feet. Paris was set a record for finding God within 48 hours behind bars.

She even said she wanted to start a home similar to the Ronald McDonald Homes, only it is called "The Paris Hilton Home." Bang. bang, bang... <--- my head hitting my desk.

Cells in prison go for about $99 per night... Paris is living in luxury now as she moved in the hospital wing which goes for $1100.00 per night!

Now don't laugh... Paris is planning a book about her life behind bars... so young girls that who look up to her will avoid the hellish nightmare she has lived in the black jungle board!

I'm sorry guys, I am wasting more space on this story... but it this better than fiction. I never, never would believe it but I was alive to actually witness this mess..... and it's not over... and it's not over it... not by a long shot.

COME ON, LET THE ANGRY FLOW!

So come on... let's hear you really feel. Laugh!!

I CAN'T STAND IT ANY MORE!!

2007-06-11T01:04:00.000-05:00

s you know I have not been writing a blog article on the weekends. Instead I have been writing a blog article over on my other blog at
This is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. During the past several days, I have had a lot of time to reflect and have already learned a bitter but important lesson from this experience.

As I have said before, I hope others will learn from my mistake. I have also had time to read the mail from my fans. I very much appreciate all of their good wishes and hope they will keep their letters coming.

I must also say that I was shocked to see all of the attention devoted to the amount of time I would spend in jail for what I had done by the media, public and city officials.

I would hope going forward that the public and the media will focus on more important things, like the men and women serving our country in Iraq, Afghanistan and other places around the world."

Now I know I have a few strokes behind me... and I realize I have a few screws lose and or missing up there....

BUT come on now... is there is ANYONE out there that truly believes that Paris thinks that? ... or even knows where Afghanistan is located?

[DISCLAIMER] The author of this Blog will not be held accountable for statements, implied or otherwise, contained in this article. He writes these under Stroke conditions.

LIES ARE CROPPING UP ALREADY!

The following "news" article cropped on a blog that was to mimmick a CNN report. It is totally false.

TODAY IS STROKE BLOG DAY

2007-06-09T01:02:00.000-05:00

ep... today is Saturday and that means I am switching on over to the Stroke Laugh blog.

Switch over and catch me over there at

TAKING DAY OFF!

2007-06-08T08:09:00.000-05:00

COME ON DOWN... FOR THE LAST TIME

2007-06-07T01:04:00.000-05:00

ob Barker, came on down, the for the last time yesterday. The 83 year old MC bid the Price This Right goodbye after 35 years. The final show was taped.

I remember, as a kid, watching Bob on Truth or Consequences 50 years ago and then eventually switching over to Price in 1972. Now I do admitting to watching the show often, but not to be a dye in the wool fanatic. As I gotten older I do admit losing interest to the show. C'est la vie.

And another show took a final bow, King of Queen. At nine seasons old, The King of Queens was TV's longest running sitcom. One of the main reasons I watched the show was Reah Remini. I just read that really surprised me... it had a laugh-track.

Wow... with these 2 block-busters now gone, there is only one show worth watching... The Simple Life, once it ummmm finished the hiatus it is on... for at the 23 day break.

And for a quick word from our sponsor...

Oh... don't forget Father's Day is coming up soon... Don't forget this year he wants a book. Oh, another thing... he wanted me to remind you that he would rather you buy from the Denny's Bookstore

Now you may return to blogging.

P.S. I am going playing commercials until you buy something!

ARE YOU READY FOR THE FIVE CENT TEN CENT TOUR?

2007-06-06T03:27:00.001-05:00

rass doesn't grow on any busy roads... and lately I have been a busy highway. You may have noticed a few things that I've added to the Newsstand over the past days.

Today is the day you get a Grand Tour. On the left... on top....

Want to listen to Music? This is turned off when you first arrived. Maybe you want to sit back, enjoy coffee while you read the news? You can turned the "radio" on and listen to the radio.

Then next is an expanded Index of sections of the news. First Page, Medical Page, Art Page, Library Page and last the Bookstore. Some of y'all have seen these before... and some have not. Check each page out. The Bookstore is where I can make some money. It's a Amazon store where you buy books and I can make a small profit. So now don't run to Amazon to buy your books... come here! ... and help put food on my table. lol

Next is a little widget that shows you whose had been on recently. I'm not sure it will stay. Shrug.

There are some other things but I am too tired to point them out. lol... you can browse around to find them out.

Now it's 3:50 AM and I am going back to bed! Yawn....

MY HEAD IS STILL SHAKING...

2007-06-05T02:46:00.000-05:00

o, No, No... I can't believe what I just read. Browsing throughout the world of news, in order to you the latest in headlines and gossip, my mouth dropped so open... It's still laying on the floor somewhere.

Remember the TV show, Big Brother? I have to admit that the first year of the show had watching every week. I also have to admit, I also never watched it again after the first year.

Once again I was reminded why...

One of the housemates, Emma Cornell, one of the contestants... father had died while the girl was in the house.

Co-executive producer Kris Noble admitted he and the show's other producers were still discussing possible options with Emma's family.

But he said she would definitely be told off camera upon her eviction.

"We haven't worked it out yet – we don't have to right now because she has not been nominated this week," Noble said.

Big Brother will not televise the moment housemate Emma Cornell learns her father has died, producers have revealed.

WHAT????????

TAKING A BUM QUIET HOLIDAY

2007-06-04T08:25:00.000-05:00

hile I am being a bum today, please check out the new INDEX on the left side.

THE WEEKEND

2007-06-02T02:21:00.000-05:00

ell it's the weekend and I am officially in weekend mode now.

Please visit my weekend blog and check it out!

Stroke Laugh

QUESTION: WHAT DOES PARIS HILTON AND

2007-06-01T01:08:00.000-05:00

wenty-Two Hundred other lucky females have in common? ANSWER: By midnight Tuesday-night they will all be sleeping together... kinda...

Gone will be her diamond tiara, expensive clothings and the smug, stuckup kisser... Paris will able to add another title to her long list of titles: CONVICT

God, what I wouldn't do to be a fly on the wall of that jail cell. She'll dress like them (orange jumpsuit), and she'll eat like them (three meals a day). Paris will be housed in a so-called special-needs housing unit. (Hilton's special need is her celebrity.) The pod consists of 12 cells, combining to hold up to a 24 inmates.

Lights on at 6 a.m.
Breakfast, usually consisting of cold cereal, bread, orange juice, milk and a hard-boiled egg, from 6 a.m. to 7:30 a.m.
Lunch, usually consisting of a sandwich, an apple, cookies, veggies and a beverage, from 11 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.
Dinner, centered around spaghetti, pepper steak or perhaps macaroni and cheese, from 4 p.m. to 5:30 p.m.
Lights out at 10 p.m.

Next day, the same drill. Everyday Paris... for 23 days straight. How will she ever do it?

Inmates like Hilton take their meals inside their cells and can receive daily visits from their attorneys, and one visit a day from others on the weekend. Daily downtime lasts about an hour—precisely how long Hilton can spend outside her cell, and in the larger housing pod.

The Simple Life star will not have a TV, but she'll be near one. The housing unit has one wall-mounted set in the common area. She'll hear the "Simple Life" from only her cell.

Said sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore: "She can see it from her cell."

ACK!

2007-05-31T06:15:00.000-05:00

couldn't sleep and took a sleeping pill about 12 AM... and now just woke up...

Now I can't even think of a idea. LOL

TAKING STOCK OF MY LIFE (kinda)...

2007-05-30T03:50:00.000-05:00

s I sat here this morning at 4:09 AM, looking around trying to up with something to write about... my eyes scanned the top of my desktop. Since I can't come up with anything to write about, I would I list the things on my desktop.

Left to right, and not in alphabetical order... a not too scented evergreen candle, a slightly used tooth-pick, the computer camera, an regular camera, a pen, hospital bills in a pile. The we move on to my mouse and pad, a stapler laying on it's side, then a scissors, a half half-eaten bag of crackers, my car keys, a small container of Tic-Tacs, a small pkg. of those breath films, a tin of Altoids... (just never know when I will need fresh-sweet breath when you lived alone), another pen, a bag of sourdough pretzels and finally a bag of pennies that I opened and removed 5 pennies late night.

That was just the FRONT of row of junk. You better things to clutter in your mind rather than my desk junk. Tomorrow: Types of printer and color paper sitting on my shelve.

DON'T PRETEND.....

2007-05-29T01:38:00.000-05:00

ou know something you nothing about. Even though this article belongs with the new weekend medical junk... this be good right here on the first workday of the new week.

Even getting out of hospital I now have 3 nurses that see multiple times a week. A head nurse, exercise nurse and a reading nurse. A Head Nurse checks my blood pressure, etc. The Physical Therapist makes me exercise and the Reading Nurse exercises my brain.

Friday, the Head Nurse comes and ask me if I have been taking my glucose reading daily with my monitor. Ummmm... well... I said "oh sure, it's fine."

She nonchanlantly says, "well, why don't you go it and will take a reading?" I'm thinking that this should be fun. I go get it and return. The needle-machine thingy in one hand and the needle in the other hand. Well what do you know... I can't operate the damn thing...

The Nurse saves the day and blames it on my stroke. Hmmmm, I have to tuck away that excuse... Completes the task and we get the test, mission accomplished.

Yesterday I decided to take my own reading. I should be doing this more of myself and more conscience of my well-being. Since I watched the Nurse the other day and how easily she did it. How bad could it be? I set everything up... now I got the silly needle and ready to stick it into the machine so it can stick me in the finger.

In goes the gentle needle... hmmm, a little loose, not a problem it still goes in... there comes the problem... the cap that covers the sharp needle and the entire top refuses to on to and securely closed.

The needle-tagger thingy ripped into my flesh. Called out to Saints I haven't ever heard of before. I perseverance for 5 for minutes. I am breaking out into a cold sweat. I am not allowing this small, crap of cheap aluminum needle get the best of me.

All of a sudden, the needle-rocket flew out of my finger and flew into my monitor. Bouncing from the screen, narrowly missing my coffee and dived head first into my buttered toast breakfast.

Ya know when were where a kid and dropped candy on the ground? Remember ya kissed it up to heaven and it was ok to eat? Would that work the way on buttered toast that had been stabbed with a diabetical needle?

MEMORIAL DAY

2007-05-28T02:28:00.001-05:00

YES, I PROMISED

2007-05-26T05:10:00.000-05:00

esterday, I mentioned something and said I will tell you about it. Hmmmm....

I don't should or not.... Here's what I do.... it involved constipation and dia.....

Oh hold.... here is a good example how a stroke, aside from mixed words and spelling works.... I have been sitting for 15 minutes to figure out to spell the opposite of constipation. I know what the word is... I can't spelling it or it look in up the dictionary. So not only can I not spell, this paragraph took me 23 minutes to write and correct the spelling of the all words in it.

Found this diagram of the brain and the functions of each side. Remember the I have had 4 strokes on my right side and I have done great with writing my blog. Two weeks ago I had stroke on my left side and I gotten done today dately.

I have all kinds of problems with speaking, typing, etc. Making words spell right and the spelling... this really SUCKS is bigtime.

It taken me 56 minutes to write this blog for to and make corrects so far... and to think the think word even though I know the word!!

It's one's self to have a stroke to begin to realize how complex we built and how we operate. This aforementioned sentence took 6 minutes to type.

AND GUESS WHAT??? I publish the blog, and read it, after edited... there are words STILL to wrong!!! LOL... I have to get down to practicing.

NEW READERS If you want to leave a remark but do not now how.... you on the right bottom of this article... right, see right there? Click there on the Editors to the Editor thing...

FRIDAY: TAKE OUT THE TRASH

2007-05-25T04:33:00.000-05:00

old your horses........ Oh God, you're not even to believe what happened to me this morning. The only this I have to write this few lines.

More or tomorrow maybe....

ALMS FOR THE HUNGRY

2007-05-24T05:32:00.001-05:00

es.....I goofed again. Once... guess what I did?

I walked into my kitchen this morning and guess what I see? The freezer door wide I open. I can't even begin to tell you the mess. LOL

TOMORROW... I PROMISE

2007-05-23T05:59:00.000-05:00

es, I promise tomorrow I will a new post. This morning I have to go to the VA and the Psych doctor.

TAKING A DAY OFF

2007-05-21T10:27:00.001-05:00

AFTERNOON DELIGHTS AT THE...

2007-05-18T04:15:00.000-05:00

oman Coliseum. There you sat with friends, relatives and girlfriends drinking vino and having a great time! Or sometimes or just a drink of aqua. The more you drank, the more to ummm... well, you had to pee or worst.

What to do? I just discovered the Coliseum was not as primitive as you might think... There were 100 drinking fountains throughout the Coliesum.

After drinking from wine pouches or drinking water from fountains, now you have to pee... you would visit one of the 2 lavatories. One of the problems... ummmm, well... no Gents or Ladies separates toilets. That's right... Unisex bathrooms! One other thing... no doors... oh, another thing also... no toilet paper either... VOILA! enter the Bedate or how you spell it. Ummm, squat and water squirts up... all done, all washed.

Also...

Sometimes the defeated gladitors pretended to be dead, in order to escape death. The Romans caught on... so they walk around with hot irons... would stabbed you to see if you screamed and wave your legs in pain. They would finish off the job. LOL

Now how much do you learn from reading my blog? lol

TAKING A DAY OFF

2007-05-17T08:00:00.000-05:00

ALMS FOR THE POOR...

2007-05-16T05:14:00.000-05:00

amely ME... As you know within the last month I had 3 strokes. The mail has not become to kind me lately. One bill from the hospital was for $39,000.00 for stroke #3. The #4 and #5 strokes that I just had happen... already was billed to me and was received yesterday... these were for $48,000.00.

Ok... the hospital bill of 80% will be paid by Social Security... ummmm wanna guess who the remaining 20% will responsible for? Did you say to the guy that has no money? Uh huh.

I just did an email to the VA Hospital and that since SS will pay the 80% would the VA pay the remaining 20%? I got a response that the law prohibits two hospitals to submit the same bills. I tried to explain to the VA that they aren't the same bills. SS will pay the first 80% and the VA should pay the remaining 20%. If I came to the VA for all strokes, they, the VA would have to pay 100%... I'm only asking that the VA pay the remaining 20%...

Everyone understand what I asking the VA to do? Do you think the VA can understand what I am asking them to do? Now I know I speak funny now, and can't always make sense of what am I saying, but come on guys... I keep getting a reply that the government prohibits two hospitals from paying the same bill...

I am NOT asking the VA to pay the same bill!!!!! I am asking they pay for the remaining 20%. Assume I went to the VA for three strokes... using the totals from St. Luke's Hospital, it would cost the VA $79,000.00... but because I did go to St. Luke's I am saving the VA about $64,000.00.

Will someone explain to me, please, PLEASE what I am not understanding here?

NOT BAD... 3:15

2007-05-15T05:53:00.000-05:00

onsidering my appointment was at 1:40 PM. I wore I was not wouldn't write anything bad about my visit yesterday. I was would only positive things today. Why would I think my visit would cause more strokes? throw in another a heart attack...

I brought the prescriptions to get filled there... for they are free Since they were written by other doctors, not from there... you would think they were written in Latin or something. The primary doctor called the stroke department to discuss them... after 15 minutes talking... I now had a appointment for Wed to see them and to "okay" the new prescriptions.

While the two doctors gabbed about the prescriptions there I sat, slowly burning.
I swear I hate government hospitals that I get for free.

TAKING THE DAY OFF

2007-05-14T05:48:00.000-05:00

eah... I am taking the day off. Today I have an appointment with my doctor at the "other" hospital which shall remain nameness. The one... the nameless one... you know what one I mean...

Amazing how two hospitals can be totally different. One can be so professional and the other be can so unprofessional. Unbelievable. At the proffesional one I an appointment at 11AM and was seen exactly at 11AM... Today I have an appointment at 1:40PM... I will be seen maybe around 2:30PM or later.

The only the I say for the unproffesional hospital is the parking free.

GUESS WHO IS BACK???

2007-05-10T15:58:00.000-05:00

e..... Will, 9 days or 10 days, I forget how more days now.... Is good to be back and kicking again. This time I have some wrinkles added. Time this I had the stroke on the left side which governs speaking. The words and thoughts are very clear in my brain, but then come the stuff comes out of my mouth and typing when all garbage! Shrug...

This time I didn't try to drive myself to the hospital, I called 911. Intially I had a stroke to the right side, on the next night I had another stroke of the other side. This did the damage. The cells swelled up, bigtime. I surprised them the swollen started to go down. Originally, I talked 100% garbaged. Each day I started talking better. I talk today about 90% normal. They say that correct to about 95%... shrug. I'll have about 95% of memory restored. They had other doctors look at me was I was recovered good it was amazed.

Well, little by little I will come along each day.

Also, thanks to the messages I for you to good speedy recover. I appreacted each of them!

I'm good to be back!!

THE DOCTOR TOLD ME TO DO IT!

2007-04-25T02:41:00.000-05:00

nd we all know how I follow my doctor's orders.

He told me he wanted me to begin strenthening my heart and try to revive the few brain cells left in my head. I have been awake all night doing just that. It is now 2:45AM... I have put out every effort adhering to his medical advice.

I've been talking to two naked females on their and mine computer cameras throughout the night. I may have over-worked my heart and my brain a bit too much.

I seriously need to rest now.

NO WONDER DEPRESSION IS ON THE RISE

2007-04-24T04:07:00.000-05:00

epression has got to been on the rise in this country. Many people sit down to breakfast and coffee first thing in the morning... pick up the morning newspaper... and:

Nine U.S. soldiers killed in Iraq suicide attack
Six held under anti-terrorism law
Hamas fires rockets into Israel despite truce

Police: Gunman Sent Obituary In E-Mail Before Shooting
Arson Suspected In Needville School Fire
NASA Employees Return To Work After Shooting
Gun Found In Locker At Middle School

Geez, know what I am saying? Can we have a newspaper with only good news? Is it no wonder people in the US are going haywire... I picked up a newspaper for one of my all time favorite places... Belize. The main headline on Page 1 was: "School has new classroom, lunch room next." Hmmmmm....

HOSPITAL HUMOR

2007-04-21T02:09:00.000-05:00

es, it's the weekend. Someone just emailed me and I thought it was cute. So now I am taking my time to take some of your time.

A woman called a local hospital. "Hello. Could you connect me to the person who gives information about patients. I'd like to find out if a family member is doing better."

The voice on the other end said, "What is the patient's name and room number?"

"Sarah Finkel, room 302."

"I'll connect you with the nursing station."

"3-A Nursing Station. How can I help You?"

"I'd like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in room 302."

"Are you a family member?"

"Yes, Yes I am.."

"Hold on.. let me look at her records... Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, she is to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and, if she continues this improvement, looks like Dr. Cohen is going to send her home very soon!"

The woman said, "What a relief! Oh, that's fantastic... that's wonderful ne ws!"

The nurse said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a sister or perhaps an aunt..?"

"Neither!

I'm Sarah Finkel in 302!.. and NOBODY ever tells me shit!"

I RECOMMEND NOT BUYING THIS PARENTING BOOK

2007-04-20T01:37:00.000-05:00

esus, this heading goes under, "how not to speak to your child". The below quote pretty much says it all.

"Once again, I have made an ass of myself trying to get to a phone. You have insulted me for the last time! You are a rude, thoughtless pig. I don't give a damn that you're 12-year-old or 11-year-old, or a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do as far as I'm concerned...The crap you pull on me with this goddamn phone situation that you would never dream of doing to your mother, and you do it to me constantly over and over again!" The father added that he should fly to the west coast "for the day just to straighten you out on the issue."

The mother and her lawyer leaked this sealed material in violation of a court order. According to the father's comment afterwards, "acknowledges that he should have used different language in parenting his child, everyone who knows him privately knows what he has been put through for the past six years."

Some Hollywood divorce's can really get nasty. The people involved Alec Baldwin, his ex-wife Kim Bassinger and their daughter, Ireland.

Observations and Questions

Man, I am so glad people outside of Hollywood conduct their business in normal manners.

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices

Born this date in 1949 Jessica Lange Cloquet MN, actress (King Kong, Tootsie). And in the death notices today in 1996 Christopher Robin Milne bookseller/son of writer A A Milne (Winnie the Pooh), dies at 75.

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World

None that I like Today

OH LOOK! I GOT A SPEEDY RECOVERY LETTER FROM THE HOSPITAL

2007-04-19T02:41:00.000-05:00

inda close... it was a portion of my bill! Yikes, it would feed a small country. They must think my name is Rockefeller... Laugh, are the in for a surprise!

I am probably behind the times so to speak since I normally go to the VA Hospital here in Houston and pay $0 for medical emergencies and/or treatments. However, this time it was an emergency as y'all know and there wasn't time to go all the way to the VA... so instead I hit Saint Luke's Hospital here in the medical center. Excellent hospital and one of the leading places in the U.S.

In case you're interested, here are some of the itemized charges:

$2,445.00 Room and Board - Semi-Private
$1,650.00 Intensive Care
$215.00 Pharmacy
$590.00 Med-Surgical Supplies
$4,327.00 Lab
$1,943.00 CT Scan
$5,602.00 OR Services
$862.00 Speech Therapy
$665.00 ER
$2,625.00 Cardiology
$6,786.00 MRI
$1,453.00 Drugs
$282.00 EKG/ECG

and the kinda really big one... Radiology Diagnostics --- $10,261.00

Grand Total = $39,706.35

This is only the first of I think 5 different bills. LOL

Observations and Questions

I'll be posting my mailing address in case anyone would like to donate food since I will be poor! LOL

Birth Announcements and Dusty Death Notices

Born this date in 1946 Tim Curry Cheshire England, actor (Rocky Horror Picture Show). And in the death notices in 1987 Hugh "Lumpy" Brannum Actor (Mr Green Jeans), dies at 77.

Holidays and Special Dates Today Around the World

Cuba : Bay of Pigs Victory Day (1961)
England : Primrose Day
Sierra Leone : Republican Anniversary Day (1971)
Uruguay : Landing of the 33/Desembarco de los "Treinta y Tres" (1825)
US : John Parker Day (1775) honors minutemen
Venezuela : Declaration of Independence Day

WHY DO WE GIVE THEM A FREE PASS?

2007-04-18T03:07:00.000-05:00

e see it all the time... a celebrity commits a crime, goes to court, fined, or dismissed... etc. While you or I, go to jail. It's time it stops!

A Los Angeles judge ordered Paris Hilton to clear her calendar on May 4 and show up in court, where she may face jail time for a probation violation charge. She may face 90 days in jail. It would serve her good. Someone needs to show her she is not queen of the world, or her little party circle.

A few weeks ago, she was allegedly speeding down Sunset Boulevard with the headlights of her $190,000, 2007 Bentley Continental GTC Convertible. She claims she didn't know that she wasn't allowed to drive because her license was suspended due to a previous court date. Is everyone in Parisworld as stupid as she possibly seems or is it just me?

Obviously she has a ton of air blowing through that head. If it were you or I in court, I am pretty sure the Judge wouldn't buy our story and we would be bunking partners with whomever for the next 90 to 120 days.

Observations and Questions

Maybe if she gets some jail time, her cellmates will introduce her to some shower humility. Hmmm, and someone please take a waterproof cam in with them?

ONCE AGAIN DEATH REACHES OUT TO US

2007-04-17T02:30:00.000-05:00

his time Death's hand reaches down but this time onto the campus of Virginia Tech. Horror, shock, disbelief, immense sorrow and sadness.

So many exciting careers, the good they could have done in this world. Any one of them we could have read in the newpapers of tomorrow of how they discovered something... now we never will.

Observations and Questions

You really, really wonder sometimes. It seems more and more and more lately my eyes glance skyward, simply a "why?" slips past my lips. Sigh.

NYQUIL IS A VERY

2007-04-16T03:11:00.000-05:00

heap high! Yes folks, the truth is out... I think I may become a Nyquil junkie! Since last we spoke, which was Friday I have had a pain in my back... not that low... but higher up in my shoulder blade. On a scale of 1 to 10, which 10 being the highest... this pain is a 15. I am talking excruciating...

It's like right inbetween my shoulder blade and the other bone... know where I mean? I've taken pain pills the Dr. prescribed for various aches and pains.. and zippo... nothing. Finally, I found some Nyquil... expiration date? Who cares... since I lost the plastic cap, I took a swig from the bottle.... in less than 10 minutes I started to feel good. LOL!! What pain? What shoulder-blades? Do I even have shoulder blades?

All weekend as soon as I flinched in pain... down went another swiggerie-pooh! I haven't felt this good in months. Swiggerie-pooh? I think I just coined a new word!

I've been awake since 12:30AM bouncing around the internet, getting into trouble at every turn. Some of you people need to be on at the same time I am and can get into trouble with me.

And now I am not even sure what this blog post was even about?

Is there a Nyquil Abuse support group?

IT IS 12:15 AM

2007-04-13T01:11:00.000-05:00

o you know where I am? Yes, I am sitting right here typing my blog article. Why? Because while all of you are dreaming and sleeping I am wide awake. I tried a while ago... tossed and turned. Nothing...

And worse yet, I can't think of a thing to write about either! So why am I writing this now? Because if I wait until I wake up, which is what I usually do... then I won't have anything to write about... at least thing way I can complain and moan and groan about sitting wide awake with nothing to write about.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Blah, blah, blah, blah.

You are so lucky I don't have any of your phone numbers.

P.S. When I published this I realized that today is Friday the 13th! Geez, I could have written a whole deal of Friday the 13th things. Shame I already had written this article.

UPDATE: It's 1:51 AM and I am still awake.... bah humbug!
Just checking in... 4:02 AM

GREETINGS... YOU'RE DRAFTED

2007-04-12T02:58:00.000-05:00

es, yesterday was an anniversary of sorts for me. What 17 or 18 year old teenager waited for the postman to deliver that letter to end all letters. I remember the day well and I didn't even have to open the letter from the U.S. Selective Service board. My parents were seated in the living room pretending to watch TV as I picked up the envelope.

Forty-one years ago yesterday I avoided the draft. I didn't have the money to head for Canada, so I did the next best thing... I joined the Navy. Little did I know how people could change in an instant. The officer politely escorted us into a room where we raised our right hands and swore allegiance to the U.S. No sooner was my hand down and it started... from that moment on, the next 4 years would never be my life again. The first thing I remember being told, "If the Navy wanted to have your mother with you, the Navy would have issued you a mother. If the Navy wanted to issue you a girlfriend they would have issued you one...

I can remember someone telling me way back then... Years from now you'll only remember the good times. BALONEY!... I remember every antagonizing moment.

But I cannot get upset about things any more since my last hospital stay last week.

TAKING THE DAY OFF, BE BACK TOMORROW

2007-04-11T08:09:00.000-05:00

WAKE UP MR. SHANE, HERE'S YOUR SLEEPING PILL

2007-04-10T02:15:00.000-05:00

ome of the things that I noticed during my recent stay at the hospital... after a long, hard day doing patient/hospital things like being poked and prodded... I was ready for a good night sleep, yeah right...

I guess about 10 o'clock I was getting drowsey, found a nice comfortable position. Or as comfortable as possibly with all of the wires, etc, sticking out of me... I couldn't have been more than 10 minutes just drifting off to sleep when my nurse came in, turned on the light above my bed... Mr. Shane, wake up here's your sleeping pill. Why, why, why? Do they turn on that huge light and flood my bed with light?

Two hours later, after taking my sleeping pill, the light comes back on... Hello Mr. Shane, I'm Doctor Mengela... How are you feeling? Now remember, I just had a stroke and my voice and talking wasn't that great, jdjkek; rii,.s uyoff... To which the doctor replied, Hmmmmmmm... we'll stop by to see you in the morning. That was it? He woke me up for that?

I think it was about 2 AM... the flood light comes back on... it's my nurse again... I'm sorry to woake you up there Mr. Shane, I have to take your blood pressure and temperature. Now they not only wake me up to do this, they she tells me my blood pressure and temperature... do I really care at 2 o'clock in the morning? I didn't care at 2 in the afternoon, let alone in the middle of the night.

Now I am not comfortable and I need to find a new sleeping position. I change positions a few times and begin to drift...

Guess what happened at 4 AM? Hi there Mr. Shane, I need to take your gloucose levels since you have diabetes.

At 6AM, they start all over again.

Good Morning there Mr. Shane, how did you sleep?

Observations and Questions

Please someone tell me they have similar experiences?

EVER COMPLAIN THERE'S NO DECENT RESTAURANTS?

2007-04-09T02:43:00.000-05:00

ow you can't complain anymore. Actually this eatery isn't new but I just spotted it... so it's new. Yes, you may need to drive a little way since it is in the Maldives! But sooooooo worth the view. Located at the Hilton Maldvies Resort and Spa, Rangali Island, the restaurant is called Ithaa - a word meaning "pearl" in the local Dhivehi language.

It's totally underwater! I think it's 7 meters undersea level. I'm not sure what 7 meters is... but it is sumberged. Complete with fish and sea life all around it.

The restaurant is completely submerged underwater. Talk about fresh seafood.

It seats 15 tables. I imagine in the event of a crack or something, with only 15 tables, there shouldn't be a long line to evacuate! Since the entire place is enclosed in glass... ummm where's the restrooms? Dinner and a show also!

Dinner ranges from $185.00 to $288.00, not including tip.

So what says we get a blogger party together this weekend?

HAPPY EASTER!!

2007-04-07T05:31:00.000-05:00

omorrow, at the crack of dawn, living rooms all over the world will be covered in little pieces of easter egg candy. Chocolate bunny feet squashed into the rug and marshmellow bunny eyes all over.

Having Diabetes like I do now, Easter is regulated to the Halloween of recycled bin holidays. Sugarless candy and chocolate simply just doesn't taste right. I want my REAL easter bunny candy.

At anyway, I want to wish everyone of you a very, very Hippity-Hop Easter!

SLEEPING LATE ;)

2007-04-06T05:51:00.000-05:00

I MADE A DECISION

2007-04-05T04:38:00.000-05:00

ot to drag this entire thing out. How about just the high-lights? After Friday with a first day under my belt, Saturday morning finally arrived... at around 2 AM when the nurse woke me up to take my tempterature!

Why did they after wake me up to do this? Can't the just stick the thing in my mouth when I was a sleep? Why wake me up? Of course, they have to turn on the floodlights above my bed. She not only takes my temp, but then she has to tell me what my temperature was... it's 2 AM who cares what my temp was? I only cared about at that point right then and there was that I was breathing. Lights out and back to sleep... I was just getting back to my dream (that's a posting for another time)... my eyes where just closing again... BAM... time to take some blood... huh? wha? whe? She just left? And here she is again... blood drawn... and now my eyes are wide awake... welcome Saturday morning.

Let's see now... start off with CAT scan, back to the room. I no sooner get settled back in bed and here they come for my MRI. Why can't they just take me for everything at once. Inbetween between CAT and MRI, they take more blood and more pills. I think I had given my medical history to at least 3 different people by now, including the janitor that wanted to hear all about my back operation.

Fast forward to 9PM... I settle into bed, nice and cozy... "Hi Mr. Shane... time to take you down for your chest x-ray!"

Anyway, Sunday finally arrived. My speech started to return to normal. I discovered by now I was now known as the "problem child" of the floor to all the nurses. How was I supposed to know at the same time they were either taking my blood pressure, or temp, or had to give more blood that I would also at the same time be downstairs having my smoke break?

I need my sleep... tomorrow Monday... was a big day... my Angioplasty, where they stick a needle in my crotch and take a tour of my arteries via my heart and other internal organs. All of this for the big showdown until they get to my neck with the camera and we head the spooky interiors of my brain, threw the turns and corners of old and cobwebs of past memories and dreams... so THIS is where all the answers to that 5th grade History test was hiding after all these years. Hmmm... I noticed there was a lot of empty space up here...

Oh one note... prior to insertion of the camera... the nurse had to "shave me"... as she is finishing I swear I saw a glimpse as she said, " Ya know Mr. Shane, I think we better shave the other side just in case they have to decide to insert the needle and camera on this side" I didn't notice until we were done and was back in my room and I was getting ready to take my afternoon shower... she was a smart butt and gave me my own little racing stripe!

PLEASE READ! IMPORTANT NOTICE!

While I have tried to make this article somewhat humorous and entertaining, (if you know me, then you know that this is how I try and cope with life) there are however some under-lying, extremely serious situations here... with me or anyone else.

While I poke fun at myself I would never poke fun of anyone else with a serious situation like a stroke, or any other life threatening situation. I am trying to present my experience in a lightful, but serious manner... And while giving you some general knowledge of what it's like to experience a stroke... well, you get the idea.

I'm certainly not going to preach... research the signs of a stroke, educate yourself and never try to be a dope like me and drive yourself to a hospital, call 911 for the obvious reasons. The life you save may be the family in the car alongside you... going to the zoo for a family fun day.

SO HEAVEN LOOKS LIKE THE INTERIOR OF AN AMBULANCE, HUH?

2007-04-04T03:20:00.000-05:00

es, it is me.... and believe me I am SO GLAD to be here writing to you. Why? Well.... I almost wasn't.... and I mean REALLY not here... anymore...

Got the time? I'll fill you all in... go make some popcorn... gets the kids out of the room, this might not be pretty.

Ok, last Friday, after a hectic day of blogging and other important things I had to do I was sitting and catching up on reruns on TV like any normal swinging, bachelor like me was doing on Friday night. There I was watching TV one minute and then when I woke up I was on the floor in between my sofa and coffee-table.

I thought... mmmmm... when did I leave the sofa and decide to lay on the floor inbetween the sofa and the table on the floor? I figured, I'd worry about it later, I had things to do... I tried to got up... Hmmmm... my legs weren't working... I wasn't getting up like a normal person would be no matter how many times I tried... I actually laid there and started to laugh in my head. "This is crazy I thought."

Okay... next idea I craweled out from the spot and onto the middle of the floor. Cool, I could stand up but not really well. I made it to my little office here, sat in my big black chair and began to type something I was working on... I began to type and looked at the screen and saw this "hfnddy ytuie jksoournfm" or something to that effect. I sat back and thought I said, "Holy crap!", except it came out as: "ghdutmv dgutq."

Now there are some things I am extremely smart in doing... this wasn't one of those moments. I combed my hair, blah, blah, blah. Out the door, hopped in my car and off I went. As long as I didn't talk or try and spell anything, I was doing good.

To make a long story short, I spotted a mini-service emergency room which was a part of the HUGE Saint Luke's Hospital here in the Medical Center in Houston. I parked and went it. The guard at the desk handed out a clip board for me to fill out... I distincly said to him: "nfjjdhs ghtuwqwkk dlkun". He looked at me like I was some idiot on a weekend pass. I looked at him and distinctly said: "kiiy hshcbnc jjjkhkdd" and pointed to my headed. Just then a nurse came walking by and noticed something was amiss and asked if she could be of assistance. Of course I thought and told her my predicament. "hggurt ghdfjske mmmkh" Ah hah, she obviously could understand gibberish because she immediately put me in a wheelchair and pushed me by all of the people that were waiting for hours. I was finally someone important!

I was a Code Blue, or Red, or Purple, but anyway people came... pronto. I think the janitor even ran into the room.

Once on the table I think I began hurling epithat's around like a drunken sailor... "mbmmbjj dgetz khldg!" Now that got me some real attention and action!

Within minutes, I was being rushed out the door and hustled into a waiting ambulance. Maybe they decided to get rid of me and sent me to another hospital?

Whirlllll, ring ring or however you make siren sounds, -insert your own sound - in my head I pictured red lights flashing, cars careening off the streets in order to get out of my way. Then all of a sudden... the siren's stopped, no more red flashing lights... They do that when you've died in the ambulance! Oh my God... I've died on the way to the hospital?

No, not quite... "Wow, I've hit the bigtime!" in smack dab in the middle of Houston's reknown Medical District at Saint Luke's Hospital

In they wheel me with people on both sides of the wheel table thing. Like you see on TV, with people running the person on the stretcher down the corridors. I get put in a room and doctor's and talking to me... I thought this would be a good time to tell them about my symptoms, "fhhjjdju ggnfff tjku, hhhfgdgd." I felt good... all the doctors and nurses nodded in agreement, hanging on every word.

Next idea? They gave me a pen to write what was wrong... bad idea... if you think my speech was goofy, you should have seen the new heirogylphics I created!

We tried sign language... that worked out a bit better. They asked how long ago this happened and I held up some fingers. I don't remember how many I held up but they decided it was not in the window of opportunity to give that new drug they have that will undue a stroke or something. The problem no one could figure how long I was on the floor before I woke up... including me. For the first time in my life I must have finally sounded like a "babbling idiot." LOL

Hmmmm... ok, I think this is it for now and I know you are on the edge of your seat, chewing your fingernails....

Tomorrow: Excuse me Nurse, you're going to shove that thing where???... and the 25 year old nymphomaniac!

PLEASE READ! IMPORTANT NOTICE!

YES, ONCE AGAIN... IT'S

2007-03-30T06:14:00.000-05:00

riday... and once again I find that I have nothing to write about. I envy people that seem to have an ever-unending bag of things to write about... always saying something interesting, humorous, thought provoking.

Now, I suppose I could rumage through my old postings and recycle one of them... or... make something up to write about... or, write about having nothing to write about. You ever have one of those days?

For example... I sat here staring at my last sentence above... and this sentence and it took me 5 minutes to begin typing this sentence. And I am still not saying anything of substance anyway.

Got any plans for the weekend?

MY FIRST TRIP TO A...

2007-03-29T03:30:00.000-05:00

awn Shop... Yes, I think I am one of the handful of people in this country that has never been inside a pawn shop... until yesterday that is....

I don't know why but I simply never had the inclination to visit one. It just so happens there is one not too far from me and I was driving past and had nothing better to do... how pathetic... nothing to do so I pull into the lot to visit a pawn shop. Please help me!

Anyway, once inside and looking around, I was genuinely surprised to see what was being offered. You name it and it was there. Golf clubs, microwaves, stereo equipment, diamond rings, electric knives... sabre saws... I had to get out before I discovered something that I absolutely couldn't live without...

After getting back home I sat down to enjoy a day of nothingness on my computer. I noticed my trash container next to the desk was full and figured it was time to change bags. I went to the closet to get a new bag and spotted 2 items sitting quietly in the corner of the darkened closet. An old portable 12 inch TV and it's friend a never-used VCR... Hmmmmmmmmmm.... Should I? Do I dare???

I did it.......

Within a half-hour I was back in the pawn shop... TV and VCR under my arm. "Hi, I bought these less than a year ago and now I am moving and need to get rid of these items." The guy behind the counter just knew I was lying. He looked them over and went to his computer after checking serial numbers... He looked at me and asked, "how much ya want for them?" Now I had to think... crap, I bought them a few years ago... at Walmart, so you know how much I paid for them... To make a long story short, he offered me $30 each. I know I paid less than $100 each at Walmart... I hesitated... and thought what do I do now? Just then a woman in her 30's walked out from the back room. Very hot breasts I thought.

She walked over and looked at my treasures... Then she looked at the guy and told him, "$40 each" and walked away. He nodded and I walked out with a fast $80!

I came home, feeling quite happy with myself. Unfortunately, I began to look around at some of the objects I had collected.... with different eyes. Hmmmmm....

PERSONALLY, I DON'T LIKE MARTHA...

2007-03-28T04:47:00.000-05:00

nd now I don't think her hometown of Katonah, New York cares for her either. How could anyone hate Martha Stewart you ask?

Well, for one thing she now is trying to trademark the name of her town, Katonah. Personally, I like the name of my hometown, Philadelphia but I don't think I'll be running to the Trademark Offices anytime soon. Is it no wonder people dislike this woman?

The Katonah Village Improvement Society voted Monday to allow its trademark committee to take the necessary steps to block the domestic diva from securing rights to the town's name.

The vote authorized the committee to spend up to $200 in legal costs in order to file formal opposition to Stewart's trademark application. The town has until Apr. 11 to make its case before the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. This is pathetic... $200????

WILL SHE REST IN PEACE?

2007-03-27T05:56:00.000-05:00

ell, the official verdict is in... accidental overdose. Yeah right... and who administered the accidental over-dose?

That's right... I am going on record... I say she was murdered... flat out... this was murder.

Now I bet, I don't have to say who I think was murdered... nor do I have to say who did the murdering... the inquest into the other murder begins today and they better come to the same conclusion that I have already formulated in my mind... so I don't have to mention the name... you already know the name. You know the murderer...

Plus I don't want to be sued for slander. LOL But it's ok if you want to mention the murderer's name in the comments section.

One last thing... when a person is autopsied there is usually the medical examiner and maybe one or two assistants. The other day I read there were 18 people assisting in her autopsy. Come on folks... geez, talk about Perv Central.

ANOTHER MONDAY MORNING

2007-03-26T05:28:00.000-05:00

es, I hate to be the one to break it to you... it's Monday again. You would think with all of the people in the world that absolutely hate Monday and all the bad Karma we could just wish Mondays off the calendar...

In case you've forgotten... today is the day that they lift the secrecy about Anna Nicole's death and the real reason is revealed. Talk about a cliff hanger...

Far be it for me to point fingers but there is one person in particular that I would not want to be for any amount of money. I am not mentioning names because I do not want to get sued for slander or anything. Negligence is one thing but Purposeful Negligence is quite another thing.

Everyone on TV is continually saying how the baby will be affected by all of this... come on now, the baby is 6 months old and will not remember one stupid thing about all of this.

Is there anyone out there that remembers when you were 6 months old?

A CELTIC BOARD

2007-03-23T07:34:00.000-05:00

his is pretty easy.... Find your birthday then see what kind of tree you are... run down to the bottom, find your tree and see what it says! Me? I'm a Lime Tree! lol

Dec 22 to Jan 01 - Apple Tree
Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree
Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree
Jan 25 to Feb 03 - Cypress Tree
Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree
Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree
Feb 19 to Feb 28 Pine Tree
Mar 01 to Mar 10 - Weeping Willow Tree
Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree
Mar 21 (only) -Oak Tree
Mar 22 to Mar 31 - Hazelnut Tree
Apr 01 to Apr 10 - Rowan Tree
Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree Apr 21 to Apr 30 - Walnut Tree
May 01 to May 14 - Poplar Tree
May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree
May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree
Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree
Jun 24 (only) - Birch Tree
Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree
Jul 05 to Jul 14 - Fir Tree
Jul 15 to Jul 25 -Elm Tree
Jul 26 to Aug 04 - Cypress Tree
Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree
Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree
Aug 24 to Sep 02 - Pine Tree Sep 03 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree
Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree
Sep 23 (only) - Olive Tree
Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree
Oct 04 to Oct 13 - Rowan Tree
Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree
Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree
Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree
Nov 22 to Dec 01 - Ash Tree
Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree
Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree

YOUR TREE (in alphabetical order)

Apple Tree (Love) -- quiet and shy at times, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction, pleasant attitude, flirtatious smile, adventurous, sensitive, loyal in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, many talents, loves children, needs affectionate partner.

Ash Tree (Ambition) -- extremely attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate, can be very egotistic, reliable, restless lover, sometimes money rules over the heart, demands attention, needs love and much emotional support.

Beech Tree (Creative) -- has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.).

Birch Tree (Inspiration) -- vivacious, attractive, elegant, friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.

Cedar Tree (Confidence) -- of rare strength, knows how to adapt, likes unexpected presents, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, a great speaker, determined, often impatient likes to impress others, has many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waits for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.

Chestnut Tree (Honesty) -- of unusual stature, impressive, well-developed sense of justice, fun to be around, a planner, born diplomat, can be irritated easily, sensitive of others feelings, hard worker, sometimes acts superior, feels not understood at times, fiercely family oriented, very loyal in love, physically fit.

Cypress Tree (Faithfulness) -- strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give but doesn't necessarily like it, strives to be content, optimistic, wants to be financially independent, wants love and affection, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered at times, can be unruly and careless, loves to gain knowledge needs to be needed.

Elm Tree (Noble-mindedness) -- pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.

Fig Tree (Sensibility) -- very strong minded, a bit self-willed, honest, loyal, independent, hates contradiction or arguments, hard worker when wants to be, loves life and friends, enjoys children and animals, few sexual relationships, great sense of humor, has artistic talent and great intelligence.

Fir tree (Mysterious) -- extraordinary taste, handles stress well, loves anything beautiful, stubborn, tends to care for those close to them, hard to trust others, yet a social butterfly, likes idleness and laziness after long demanding hours at work, rather modest, talented, unselfish, many friends, very reliable.

Hazelnut Tree (Extraordinary) -- charming, sense of humor, very demanding but can also be very understanding, knows how to make a lasting impression, active fighter for social causes and politics, popular, quite moody, sexually oriented, honest, a perfectionist, has a precise sense of judgment and expects complete fairness.

Hornbeam Tree (Good Taste) -- of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is usually egoistic, wants life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.

Lime Tree (Doubt) - intelligent, hard working, accepts what life dishes out, but not before trying to change bad circumstances into good ones, hates fighting and stress, enjoys getaway vacations, may appear tough, but is actually soft and relenting, always willing to make sacrifices for family and friends, has many talents but not always enough time to use them, can become a complainer, great leadership qualities, is jealous at times but extremely loyal.

Maple Tree (Independence of Mind) -- no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.

Oak Tree (Brave) -- robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground, person of action.

Olive Tree (Wisdom) -- loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.

Pine Tree (Peacemaker) -- loves agreeable company, craves peace and harmony, loves to help others, active imagination, likes to write poetry, not fashion conscious, great compassion, friendly to all, falls strongly in love but will leave if betrayed or lied to, emotionally soft, low self esteem, needs affection and reassurance.

Poplar Tree (Uncertainty) -- looks very decorative, talented, not very self-confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, great artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

Rowan Tree (Sensitivity) -- full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.

Walnut Tree (Passion) -- unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.

Weeping Willow (Melancholy) - likes to be stress free, loves family life, full of hopes and dreams, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful, musically inclined, loves to travel to exotic places, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with when pressured, sometimes demanding, good intuition, suffers in love until they find that one loyal, steadfast partner; loves to make others laugh

ARE PARENTS GOING CRAZY?

2007-03-22T05:42:00.000-05:00

hat is happening to our parents in this country? Recently two stories caught my eye and had me shaking my head. I forget now, but I am pretty sure both stories come from Florida... I can remember when we thought all the kooks lived in California... I think kookdom has moved to the Sunshine State.

The first story involved a first grader who had to being something into skool for Show n Tell. Everyone else brought in normal thinks like a doll or a play army tank... what did little Billy bring in? He brought in a rock... no, no not a normal rock... he brought in his mommy's rock of cocaine! Needless to say it caused a commotion in the school and mommy will be spending some time in the Big Doll House on the hill.

The next story is something else.... those of us parents hate telling our kids about the 'birds n bees' and actually avoid it at all costs. However, a woman in Florida and her boyfriend had a different approach with their 9 year old daughter. They decided having full-blown sex in front of her would help us understand. Apparently they showed her a few times.

The 9 year old on a visit to her father's house decided to tell him all she learned. The teaching couple were put on probation.

Observations and Questions

So any kid problems at your house? LOL

DAMN RED LIGHT CAMERAS

2007-03-19T06:05:00.000-05:00

as your city or town installed these spy cameras yet? They sit quietly above the street and if you exceed the speed limit... SNAP... they take your picture, then forward the picture to you with a fine of $75.00.

I am all for safe driving, I really am. I do not speed, intentionally. But I really object to these cameras. I think Houston now has about 50 or so at various intersections. Let them spend the money on hiring cops to be at the intersections.

High rape spots would be a good place to put these spies... schools would be another great spot to capture the pictures of the pervs hanging out.

We're running head-long into Big Brother and no one seems to be bitching.

But all in all... have a great Monday! :)

HAPPY ST. PAT'S DAY... TOMORROW

2007-03-16T05:03:00.000-05:00

y, my how times change. I can remember years ago the call to St. Patrick's Day was filled with partying and mayhem... Now I am content to see if there's anything exciting on the television. No wild singing at the top of my lungs... no drinking whatever was put in front of me... no half naked Irish girls trying to do things to me... nope, now it's just click... click... clicking on the remote.

Houston isn't too big on St. Pat celebrations... not like the bigger northern cities like Philly or New York.

So how is it where you live? Big parade? Bars full? What do you do, if anything?

Slainte'

JUSTICE AT LAST

2007-03-15T02:34:00.000-05:00

r is it? Is the death penalty too good? It took a jury in Florida about an hour and fifteen minutes to decide the fate of murderer John Couey for raping and burying little Jessica Lunsford alive.

Usually I love Court TV, but this trial was just a bit too much for me in my old age. But as normal I would flip back and forth. During the entire trial this butt wipe drew pictures in a notepad and God knows what else he was drawing, all while seemingly caring less about the trial for his life. Many people including me, thought he was going for jury sympathy by showing how retarded he was... I am thrilled the jury didn't buy this charade... and I fault the judge for allowing this in his courtroom.

Actually, I'm also disappointed they even gave him the courtesy of a trial.

A REAL LOSER

2007-03-13T05:31:00.000-05:00

id anyone else catch the video on the news yesterday of the mugging? It's become known as "the mugging". I forget now where it took place as to city but for some reason I think London.

The apartment security camera caught a mugger actually beating up a 101 year old woman for her purse. As the tape went on it showed this "man" and I use the term loosely, punching her in the face and knocking her down as he went through her pockets.

Did he think he was going to really score with this haul? He'd be lucky if he found $15 in total.

I am guessing his reward wasn't big enough because he actually went on to another place and did the same thing to an 87 year old woman and it was caught on tape as well.

Honest to God... I really hate watching the news anymore.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

2007-03-12T05:20:00.000-05:00

o Guess Who? Yes, that's right... Me. Ugh, another one crossed off. I can remember how as a kid I couldn't wait for my birthday... I knew the party was coming, the presents unending, people singing... it was a fun time.

Yesterday was much different... I was grown up, moved into a new set of digits and running out of numbers. The phone calls from up north back home in Philly and Jersey started early. Everyone called.

Ok, it started thundering here in Houston, really LOUD. I am ending this blog entry really quickly before yesterday turns into my last birthday. If it stops I'll be back to finish it.

Okay, I'm back. I want to thank my blogger buddies who either wished me a happy birthday in the comments section or emailed me... and special thanks to the lady who sent me her panties as a birthday present! lol

And remember, the other day when I fell? Little by little my body got back to normal. My foot and ankle still hurt... my back feels like it went through a ringer, but otherwise I am feeling pretty good. Next time I am going to the hospital though and let them sort it all out. I am an old guy now, officially, I think.

MY BRAIN versus

2007-03-08T05:09:00.000-06:00

he World.... Something is wrong... I have been sitting here for over an hour trying to think of something to write about. I have come to the conclusion that one of two things is happening... either my brain has officially died or there is nothing happening in the world to write about.

Over the past week, I have been playing hit or miss with articles to write about. Have I finally come to the end of the road? Am I blogged out? I hope not because I really do enjoy blogging... writing goofy stuff and then having people comment.

Maybe I have contracted the deadly Blogitis... the inability of one to blog... I've even slowed down visiting your blogs and commenting and I definitely do not like that at all.

The only exciting thing that happened yesterday was that I fell in the kitchen. I was preparing dinner and I felt the all too familiar shaking begin... I knew I had to drop what I was holding and begin to get down on the floor. Usually by the time I kneel on the floor the shaking and tremors have stopped. Not this time... they continued and got so bad that they actually started shaking my entire body as opposed to just my left side. Down I went... flat on my back. I know I did twist my ankle because this morning it hurts like hell... and I am limping... but I can move my little toe, so I am assuming that nothing is broken, even though it hurts like hell to walk on...

What's happening in your life?