QUESTION: WHAT DOES PARIS HILTON AND

wenty-Two Hundred other lucky females have in common? ANSWER: By midnight Tuesday-night they will all be sleeping together... kinda...

Gone will be her diamond tiara, expensive clothings and the smug, stuckup kisser... Paris will able to add another title to her long list of titles: CONVICT

God, what I wouldn't do to be a fly on the wall of that jail cell. She'll dress like them (orange jumpsuit), and she'll eat like them (three meals a day). Paris will be housed in a so-called special-needs housing unit. (Hilton's special need is her celebrity.) The pod consists of 12 cells, combining to hold up to a 24 inmates.

Lights on at 6 a.m.
Breakfast, usually consisting of cold cereal, bread, orange juice, milk and a hard-boiled egg, from 6 a.m. to 7:30 a.m.
Lunch, usually consisting of a sandwich, an apple, cookies, veggies and a beverage, from 11 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.
Dinner, centered around spaghetti, pepper steak or perhaps macaroni and cheese, from 4 p.m. to 5:30 p.m.
Lights out at 10 p.m.

Next day, the same drill. Everyday Paris... for 23 days straight. How will she ever do it?

Inmates like Hilton take their meals inside their cells and can receive daily visits from their attorneys, and one visit a day from others on the weekend. Daily downtime lasts about an hour—precisely how long Hilton can spend outside her cell, and in the larger housing pod.

The Simple Life star will not have a TV, but she'll be near one. The housing unit has one wall-mounted set in the common area. She'll hear the "Simple Life" from only her cell.

Said sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore: "She can see it from her cell."

Labels: Hollywood Insanity