HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I DONE WHAT???

othing ever happens to me normally. I swear I attract odd people and find myself in strange and goofy situations. Last Friday I told y'all that I had an appointment at the VA, with a new doctor. I guess my doctor was tired of me and my illness(es), shrug. Before the appointment I was to meet this doctor who was conducting a study on patients that have cancer and "normal" people like me.

Supposed they feed criteria into the computer and up popped my name. Just your normal, run of the mill, unassuming patients that host a host of maladies like me. I was special.

He told me I was to answer the questions on the questionnaire, afterwards I would undergo a physical in their offices... everything would be done within 2 hours.

I sat down with my questions and began my contribution to science... maybe even end up in the New England medical journal! The study was broken into parts. Part 1 was easy enough... name, address, age, blood type, etc. A piece of cake.

Part 2 was my medical background... operations, etc. No problemo....

Part 3... the first question was: When was the last time you had sex? Was it with your significant other? Alone? Ahem... I moved right along... Do you masturbate? How many times in the last 7 days have you masturbated? Do you consider yourself: Straight, Bi-sexual, gay?

How often do you think about sex during the day? Please circle one was from 1 time to over 20 times a day. Do you have sexual dreams?

Do you get erections more at night or during the day? Are you erections less than desirable? Medium? Full?

Okee Dokee... I am all for science and all, but..... I thought it was an application to star in a X-Rated movie or sometime. I fully expected to be photographed naked and my picture attached to the papers.

Question.... This was to help and compare with patients that have cancer.... Ok, I am a little slow these days BUT why would people that have cancer be wondering about their sex lives. Don't the cancer patients have more on their minds rather to think about sex? and specifically MY sex life?

Why God, why... why is it aways me that get picks or get involved in things like this? Do y'all sit around in heaven and think up these situations and laugh and say: "Let's give this to Denny Shane to torture him."