OKAY, I AM EXTREMELY TICKED OFF
F
or the last few days I have deleting advertising from the Comments section from these butt cracks leaving their stupid messages.
I have a choices here..... continuing to delete them immediately or put a password. That will take care of that problem. I'll let y'all know which I decided.
How do you feel about passwords to leave a comment?
PRESENTING: THE SHROUD OF SHANE
Y
es, it's me! Me in the flesh and bones! I know you girls have wanted to see me stripped to the bare bones. Here I am!!!
Yesterday I went the Doctor's to have a bone density scan, God only knows why because I sure don't know why... I saw the picture of my on her monitor and I begged to have a copy. "I'm not supposed to...", she cooed. Then I glanced at her with my "sure ya can hon..." look...
"Well, ok", she smiled demurely. Damn, I still got it I thought... What girl wouldn't give me a xray of myself in the bare bones state that I was in...
LOL
SO YOU LIKE CHOPSTICKS?
T
he next you go to a Chinese restaurant, you might want to consider this.... A Beijing factory recycled used chopsticks and sold up to 100,000 pairs a day without any form of disinfection, a newspaper said on Wednesday, the latest in a string of Chinese food and product safety scares.
Uh huh... Now in all honesty is obviously aimed at all chopstick makers in China... only some of them, actually, right now, pertaining to one chopstick maker.
Officials raided the factory and seized about half a million pairs of recycled disposable bamboo chopsticks and a packaging machine, the Beijing News said.
The owner, identified only by his surname Wu, said he had sold the recycled chopsticks for 0.04 yuan a pair and made an average of about 1,000 yuan ($130) a day.
Wu, who had no license to sell the goods, said he had sold 100,000 pairs a day when business was good.
On the lighter side.... In the latest in a series of tit-for-tat measures, China has accused the United States of exporting substandard soybean shipments to China and requested "effective measures" be taken. The U.S. shipping substandard soybean to China???? What is this world coming to... lol
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I DONE WHAT???
N
othing ever happens to me normally. I swear I attract odd people and find myself in strange and goofy situations. Last Friday I told y'all that I had an appointment at the VA, with a new doctor. I guess my doctor was tired of me and my illness(es), shrug. Before the appointment I was to meet this doctor who was conducting a study on patients that have cancer and "normal" people like me.
Supposed they feed criteria into the computer and up popped my name. Just your normal, run of the mill, unassuming patients that host a host of maladies like me. I was special.
He told me I was to answer the questions on the questionnaire, afterwards I would undergo a physical in their offices... everything would be done within 2 hours.
I sat down with my questions and began my contribution to science... maybe even end up in the New England medical journal! The study was broken into parts. Part 1 was easy enough... name, address, age, blood type, etc. A piece of cake.
Part 2 was my medical background... operations, etc. No problemo....
Part 3... the first question was: When was the last time you had sex? Was it with your significant other? Alone? Ahem... I moved right along... Do you masturbate? How many times in the last 7 days have you masturbated? Do you consider yourself: Straight, Bi-sexual, gay?
How often do you think about sex during the day? Please circle one was from 1 time to over 20 times a day. Do you have sexual dreams?
Do you get erections more at night or during the day? Are you erections less than desirable? Medium? Full?
Okee Dokee... I am all for science and all, but..... I thought it was an application to star in a X-Rated movie or sometime. I fully expected to be photographed naked and my picture attached to the papers.
Question.... This was to help and compare with patients that have cancer.... Ok, I am a little slow these days BUT why would people that have cancer be wondering about their sex lives. Don't the cancer patients have more on their minds rather to think about sex? and specifically MY sex life?
Why God, why... why is it aways me that get picks or get involved in things like this? Do y'all sit around in heaven and think up these situations and laugh and say: "Let's give this to Denny Shane to torture him."
CONGRATS MR. SHANE, YOU ARE A GUINEA PIG
T
he VA hospital has selected me, out of thousands of vets, to see a test subject!!! That's right people... eat your hearts out. I am scheduled for my 3 month check-up at the hospital tomorrow... I think my normal doctor was a little upset when I wrote him a letter telling how he doesn't pay attention to me when I complain... oh, I also sent a copy of the head of the VA Hospital also...
The next knew I was transferred to a new doctor and my first appointment is tomorrow morning. Well, I never....
Well he doesn't know I am the head of the "My Anything But A Normal Life" world-conglomerate... Anyway, today I get a phone call from a doctor that is conducting a study and my name was picked!!! WOW! A winner Finally!
He told me that my name was picked as a person who has had: 1 heart attack, 6 strokes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, clinical depression and problems with memory at my age. Imagine that, of all the veterans that had all of those exact conditions, they picked me. LOL
I felt I won a car or the lottery. I had questions of course... Like does this study pay any money? "No" Well, that pretty wrapped of my questions. Then he tells me that they wanted to use me as a comparison person with people that have terminal cancer.
Err, huh? WHAT??????
I swear I never picked for normal things.
P.S. I let ya know on Monday. lol
"EXCUSE ME SIR, YOU KNOW YOU WERE SPEEDING?"
H
uh Officer? Me? Speeding? There I was driving along, minding my own business... Checking the rear view mirror as I always do.... What? why is the cop flashing his lights behind me? Is he waving to me? Oh crap!!
"Good morning sir, how are you doing?" I was doing great until 2 minutes ago. "Do how fast you were going?" Well, no but I am sure you're gonna tell me. "46 in a 35 zone." My thought was "huh uh, is there a problem?"
He tells me to sit in the car and he would be right back and he walked back to the patrol car. That's when I realized... my car registration expired... in MAY... Bad enough?... I forgot to get the car inspected also.... oh geez....
Here he comes, ticket book in hand... he's writing as he walks... he looks a lot bigger now... "Sir, I'm giving you a blah blah blah."
He hands me my present and my license back and tells me to have an nice day. Yeah, right.... Now I've got a $185 ticket... $185!!!!
Glad he didn't ask for the my insurance card..... it ran out last month! I just hate when your brain just stops working.
When was the last time you were stopped?
SOME PEOPLE ARE REALLY STUPID
T
his story just had me shaking my head... A woman was arrested after she called police to help "get her money back" after she was unhappy with the crack cocaine she purchased.
Juanita Marie Jones, 53, called Rochelle Police late Thursday night after she purchased what she thought was a $20 piece of crack cocaine, according to police reports.
She told officers she broke the rock into three pieces and smoked one, only to discover the drugs were "fake."
She took Officer Joel Quinn and Deputy John Shedd of the Wilcox County Sheriff's Office into her kitchen and showed them the drugs, police said.
She was promptly arrested on charges of possession of cocaine.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.... lol
"BUT HEY, WE HAVE A CONTRACT"
K
evin L. Erwin made his girlfriend sign a contract that said "I freely give myself to Kevin L. Erwin as a personal slave and life mate ... . I agree to make myself sexually available to Kevin at all times, 24/7." 
The contract also calls for the woman to get a divorce and marry Erwin as soon as possible. It bars her from ever again participating in Internet relationships or chat rooms. Here is another bizarre part of the contract. It explicitly states that the signee agrees to sexual intimacy "in whatever form Kevin deems fit."
The document also read that any breach of the purported agreement would cost the woman $100,000.
"I agree to pay Kevin $100,000 alienation of affection should I ever attempt to break this contract. This payment may not be included in any bankruptcy in the future. Payments will be made in 10, $10,000 annual installments."
The couple met through the Internet..... "uh huh.... lol" chuckled Denny Shane, editor of the Not So Normal News.
The one-page document also requires the woman to wear a collar and agree to any tattoos, piercing or branding as directed. She also is to submit to punishment from a whip, riding crop, electrical stimulation and cat-o'-nine-tails, a whip made of knotted cords.
She went to police after he tied her up for eight hours, branded her with the letter K, bit her several times, and shocked her genitals. (Editor Note: Why after 8 hours? Did she enjoy the previous 7 hours?) The woman had burns, bruises, rope abrasions and bite marks throughout her body when she went to Jackson Township police June 11. She told officers Erwin tortured her in the upstairs bedroom of the apartment the pair shared on Malibu Avenue NW.
Hey, hey, hey, I thought we had a contract here?! When he was arrested, Erwin told police it was a mistake and that he could clear up any confusion with the contract.
So a question comes to mind.... what will YOU do for love? I know some of the readers out there enjoy this and I expect some good comments! Or I'll get my TENZ unit out to make you submit!
WHEN A THANK YOU GOES BAD...
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hen Leroy Greer sent roses to the love of his life, he never those 1-800-Flowers would lead him into divorce court. Seem that 1-800-Flowers send a thank you note to Greer at home to thank you using them to send the flowers.
What's the hitch? Greer sent the flowers to his mistress and not his wife. It seems that after Leroy Greer's wife filed for divorce in January 2006, he began seeing another woman and sent his new girlfriend a dozen long-stemmed roses. But a few months after the flowers were sent, Greer reconciled with his wife, and she moved back in to his Missouri City, Texas home, according to Greer's lawyer, Kennitra Foote.
That was, until his wife received a thank-you note from 1-800-Flowers.
Confused about the purchase, Bernice Greer called the company, and they faxed her the receipt. "Just wanted to say that I love you and you mean the world to me!" read the greeting from Greer to his girlfriend, whose name and address were included in the receipt for more than $100 in roses.
Ummmm, the divorce is back on.... lol
A BLOGGER'S UNION ???
A
re you tired of thinking for items to write about? Want medical coverage? How about 2 15 minute breaks? There are bloggers aka normal people, like me and you... are sitting around tables thinking this crap up. Are bloggers normal people like me and you?
Some argue for a free-standing association for activist bloggers while others suggest a guild open to any blogger — from knitting fans to video gamers — that could be created within established labor groups.
"The reason I like blogging is that it's very anarchistic. I can do whatever I want whenever I want, and oh my God, you're not going to tell me what to do," said Curt Hopkins, the founder of the Committee to Protect Bloggers.
With pages focused on everything from bird watching to celebrity footwear, more than 120,000 blogs are created every day and more than 58,000 new posts are made each hour, according to data from Technorati, which tracks more than 94 million blogs worldwide.
Actually, the more I think about it, and as one blogger recently put it: "Blogging is very intense — physically, mentally," she said. "You're constantly scanning for news. You're constantly trying to come up with information that you think will mobilize your readers. In the meantime, you're sitting at a computer and your ass is getting wider and your arm and neck and shoulder are wearing out because you're constantly using a mouse." I never thought about ass-widening as a medical condioner or as a bloger infirmity... I know one female blogger that writes her own excellent blog and visit here always comoplaining about her ass getting wider who would put in a claim. (and no it isn't honey, more to grab onto) lol
Amazing huh? And we are part of the mess. So.... yea or nay? Or is it a way to for us to shell out more money every month as "dues". I think the Not So Normal News will began unionless... who would I strike against? Myself?
I AM BACK!!!
T
hank you... thank you... thank you... for all of your emails, letters, postcards and especially to the fellow blogger who me her bra.... as a hurry get here and blog quickly! I was gonna hold out another week to see what I would get in the mail! Woo Hoo!
I decided to take a little of time off to get my thoughts together, etc. Sometimes I simply run of out steam... know what I mean?
I just wanted to know that tomorrow I'll be at the keyboard tapping out my little blog once again!
I missed y'all!
SORRY GANG
R
eally, I'm sorry for the lack of postings this week. I'll start all over on Monday. Please come back?
Just not feeling good this week.
IS IT JUST ME?
D
oes anyone out there drink tomato juice with breakfast? I have meaning to write about this for awhile. Yes folks, my life has sunk this low when I resort to writing about tomato juice.
I enjoy a nice glass of chilled tomato juice at breakfast and I sprinkle black pepper on the top. The problem I noticed is that years ago the pepper usually stayed with the juice until the end. Nowadays, I don't know why but the pepper is gone long before the juice is done.
I think they are making the juice thinner now. Which brings up a whole topic of subjects.... alone with tomato juice and pepper... have you've noticed anything that doesn't act like it use to?
Another thing I noticed is tat pancake syrup isn't as thick as it once was... along with catsup.
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